


Is it Wrong to live with a Sorceress?

by Viscount_Vampyre



Category: Warhammer Fantasy
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, MILFs, Magical Girls, Parody, Romantic Comedy, otaku
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2020-04-12 15:12:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19134622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viscount_Vampyre/pseuds/Viscount_Vampyre
Summary: Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!After a freak accident an underachieving otaku gets a new roommate... But maybe having a magical chick move in isn't as great as the manga make it cracked up to be!





	1. Days like any other

Author’s foreword: I looked and was disappointed to see that the best Warhammer Mommy wasn’t getting any attention, so I came up with this… I hope you enjoy it.

Lots of love, VV

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter One: Days like any other

“Dude you’ve got to come out with me man!”

Eric cringed as he put his now empty glass on the kitchen table.

He’d been chatting with his younger brother and just stopped at his parent’s place for a few minutes. Those few turned into almost half an hour, and since it was a weekday he really didn’t want to get caught in traffic driving back into the city to his apartment.

He nodded to his younger brother and waved to his parents through the window, “Yeah man… I will just you know; you’ve got my number, text me?”

James laughed and waved him off, “Bah! Fine… grumpy boy! Get goin’.”

He smiled as Eric stepped off their front porch and walked to his car.

James was petitioning his older brother very hard to buy a ticket and join him for summer music fest.

The week-long event promised to be fun, and a lot of bands Eric liked were playing but… He just knew that his younger brother was trying to get him to be the chauffer, the DD, and overall ‘mom’ for James’ pals.

He made that mistake once before, right after high school, and he swore he’d never make it again.

But, he did want to see _Gorillaz_ , and _Billy_ , and _Post_ , and…

‘Oh goddamn it!’ he thought, ‘When am I going to get another opportunity to see like eighty bands and artists for a week straight?!’

The thought plagued him the whole way home.

…

When he finally arrived at his apartment building he was so frustrated that he nearly sheared the bumper of his car on one of the parking garage’s pillars, eliciting a look of surprise and anger from one of the building’s security guards.

Eric waved and mouthed ‘sorry’. Cringing as he exited and walked past the guard to the elevator lobby.

‘You dumbass…’ he scolded himself.

Pressing the button for the elevator he stepped forwards as the doors opened and he nearly ran into a man.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed.

When he looked up Eric’s brow furrowed in surprise. The man he nearly hit was wearing a thick black sweater and had a scarf and hand wraps.

‘But it’s June?’ he thought.

The man grumbled and spoke in a foreign tongue as he stepped ahead without ever looking at him, or even acknowledging that Eric was about to hit him.

The young man shook his head and whispered, “What the fuck…” as he entered the small elevator.

The room smelt and he rolled his eyes while holding his breath. It might have been food… or BO or even a combination of the two but he really didn’t want to make a study of it.

“Don’t be racist… don’t be an asshole…” he began telling himself.

When he finally arrived at his floor he was thankful to be out of the small box of weird scent.

‘I just want to have smoke, and unwind while playing something on steam.’

He nodded and unlocked his apartment door.

‘Is that too much to ask?’

His was a small two room apartment with a tiny bathroom tucked into the corner of the main living room.

Posters, video game maps, and anime crap lined the walls and shelves.

With the door shut he sighed wearily, somewhat unhappy to be ‘home’.

Throwing his keys onto the small table beside his door he nodded and jumped over his discarded shoes towards his desk.

He booted up his computer and threw on his TV while he waited.

Flicking through the options he eventually saw the title card for an anime that he watched and exclaimed happily, “Oh sweet Netflix has the second season now.”

Lighting up a cigarette he clicked play and exhaled as he heard the familiar opening tune of the show’s credits.

Mumbling along in broken Japanese he hummed the tune and began clicking his keyboard and mouse furiously.

…

With his TV blaring Eric played several games but none held his fancy for too long.

“Maybe I’ll have better luck with an RTS?”

Booting up his saved campaign Eric slogged away for almost an hour. But after losing the same battle a third time in a row he petulantly exited to the main menu, frustrated and tired.

His show was far more interesting than losing to the stupid AI and its cheese tactics…

Binging over half the season, getting through three and a half beer, he eventually passed out uncomfortably in his chair.

When he woke up the bright light of the TV screen beckoned the wonderful question; ‘Are you still watching?’

He groaned and tried stretching his arm out as he turned the TV off.

“Ugh… I should have cleaned first…” he complained.

Cans, bottles, and discarded shirts were strewn across his floor and he had just turned off his only source of light.

Standing from his chair he turned around to flick his computer monitor back on when he slipped over his long headset cord.

“Ah! N-No!” he managed to scream.

Losing his footing, like a dumbass, Eric fell forwards into his desk, knocking his half empty glass of flat beer, an open bottle of water, his screen, speakers, mouse, keyboard, and even his computer tower underneath, over.

The sound was horrible as the ‘shrine’ to his electronic addiction fell to the side with him on top of it.

His chest tightened and he frantically tried to break his fall as he rode the desk over and to the ground, but Eric was uncoordinated at the best of times, and if he got flustered or stressed his coordination became _even worse_.

Trying to save at least one thing off his desk, while also trying to steady himself to limit the impending damage were far too many things for him to handle. With the grace of a dead bird Eric smashed his own face into his ash, beer, and garbage covered monitor.

…

When the noise ringing in his head stopped he pushed himself off the broken heap of his crappy Ikea desk and looked through the gloom of the room at the shit which had all gone flying in his fall.

He groaned and sat up, “Well…”

His voice faltered and he began standing while walking to the kitchenette. Reaching for the light he shook his head and held a breath.

“Good fucking going you absolute idiot.”

When the lights turned on Eric furrowed his brow and let out a groan like a wounded animal.

“Ohhhh no…”

Running his hand through his now damp hair he exhaled heavily before stepping back towards the ruin of his desk.

His computer fan was making an awful noise and he tentatively knelt beside the punctured and ruined case.

The glow light of the interior fans changed colours eerily as they tried to continue working.

“Well…” he brought a hand to his mouth, “Good fucking going… that’s like six hundred dollars to replace…”

He tried lifting the desk off the case when the whirring began to climb in volume.

“What the fuck? Shit!”

The light of the computer began to glow brighter and he furrowed his brow as he watched green and purple arcs of energy snap out of the computer.

A droplet of beer and his stress sweat flowed down his forehead as he reached forwards, “I’ve got to unhook the power supply! Fuck! If it shorts out there goes my data!”

Reaching under the desk for the power cord Eric ran his hand along the dented and razor sharp edge of the metal case.

He cut his hand and as he took hold of the cord his blood and sweat connected with the exposed electrical wire.

The sound was deafening, and the light nearly singed his eyebrows.

But the explosion was the most surprising part of it.

All Eric remembered was flying backwards.

When he woke up all he smelt was an acrid, singed, potato-like, scent.

Parts of his desk had been thrown across the room and his chair had somehow flown towards the doorway.

He looked around his now even more chaotic room with wide disbelieving eyes.

Strange purple mist hung in the air and his carpet had a black singed circle emanating from where his setup _used_ to be.

Lying on the floor of his room was a fully grown, mother-fucking, human body!

_More than that it was a chick!_

‘I’m fucking dead… I am hallucinating and these are my death throes… I’m fucking seeing shit.’ Is what Eric thought.

But what Eric said was something along the lines of; “Holy fucking shit wh-the what theffucking! AGHHHhaaa!”

He fell to his knees and hid behind his kitchenette’s island, panting and shaking before eventually working up the courage to look around the edge at his ‘visitor’.

She was pale… With tons of black hair… and a twisted, horned, crown-like headdress… wait.

She looked _familiar_?!?

He slunk back behind the island when the body moved and he heard her groan.

“Aghhh, my bloody _head_ …” she grumbled.

Eric began panicking and hyperventilating. Looking to his left side he reached for his cutlery drawer and drew one of his sharper dressing knives.

His hands shook and his whole body shivered with fear and abject disbelief at what had just happened.

With a cry he jumped up and raised the knife, “Who the hell a-are you?!?!” he screamed.

The figure looked up at him groggily at first, and then she narrowed her eyes and bared her teeth as she saw the knife.

But he knew her by sight… He knew her by her face, her dress, and her hair…

He nearly fainted at the realisation, but he had to have asked the question, even if it was pointless.

Her face changed as she realised he knew who she was.

Eric lowered the blade and was doing everything he could not to scream in madness or to piss himself in fear.

“Y-y-yo-you-you’re…” he stuttered.

She exhaled painfully and tried to move.

Her limbs were stiff and she groaned in pain as she pushed herself backwards.

“You’re M-Mo-Morathi….”

She leaned against the wall when she reached it and exhaled spitefully as she tilted her chin up.

Her voice sounded pained but her chest swelled as she chuckled hollowly, “I _am._ ”

With a loud exhale Eric dropped the knife into the kitchen sink before he collapsed to the floor.

…

He was out like a light for several minutes, but unfortunately when he came to the room hadn’t gone back to normal.

Groaning he looked at his apartment’s ceiling and saw the black singed lines from the explosion.

“Oh no…”

Quickly rolling over he began to slowly stand as he looked over the island at his ‘guest’.

Her eyes were closed and her chest was moving up and down steadily. One arm was over her lap while the other was holding her shoulder.

She smirked and spoke without opening her eyes, “Oh _yes_.”

Her voice was sarcastic and caustic.

Eric’s mouth dried and his hands shook as he tried to get a grip on reality.

“W-why wh-wha-what the fucking _h-how?!_ ”

She opened her eyes and looked across the room. “You tell me spell caster? Before I boil your organs, that is…”

Eric shivered and shook his head as his mind raced and his breath fluttered, “W-wait… I… look I have no idea… w-what holy fuck this is unbelievable…”

Morathi tried to move but seethed and hissed at the pain in her arms, “Gah! Enough of this, I am not in the mood for _games!_ ”

Forcing herself to stand Eric quailed and watched as his lower jaw chattered.

Her skirt moved and her body swayed uneasily as she balanced herself and straightened.

Her voice grew deep and she began an incantation. Dark purple smoke materialised in her hands before dissipating.

She furrowed her brow and looked at her fingers in disbelief.

“What? But, how?” she whispered.

Eric blinked profusely and backed up until he hit the counter behind him.

Rolling her shoulders and flicking some of her hair behind her she snarled and stretched out her hands.

“No matter…”

Stepping towards him Morathi ignored the debris and empties as she crossed the room and lunged at Eric.

The young man choked back a squeal as she easily wrapped her hand around his throat. He didn’t quite know where to look. Her face was flawless, and her intense eyes were even more piercing in person.

The fact that she was so scantily clad… didn’t help…

It also turned out that Morathi was easily taller than Eric; she was also dimensionally larger too.

Her arm flexed and she visibly strained against some kind of fatigue or pain in her body, but she tightly held him in a death-grip.

“Where am I? What pitiful name do you call this place? You foolish wizard!”

Eric’s face grew red and he tried prying her hand off his neck with all his strength.

“Y-you’re on E-earth…” he croaked out.

She furrowed her brow, never having heard the name before. _Obviously._

He looked into her unblinking eyes, struggling to comprehend that he was being strangled by a very-real, _fictional,_ character…

“I-I’m n-not a, gah, cack! A _wizard!_ ”

This was a sentence Eric, as well as any other person in their right mind, never thought they’d have to answer genuinely. She lightened her grip and her brow softened, momentarily. She didn’t believe him and then doubled her efforts.

Eric struggled and his desperation finally gave him the strength and impetus to actually touch, and ‘hit’ her to defend himself.

He brought his fist down onto the crook of her elbow and kicked his left leg forwards into her thigh.

The two collisions hurt her far more than they should have and her face contorted in pain as she let go and stepped backwards, hobbled by the strikes.

Catching his breath and raising his hands Eric tried to be as diplomatic as possible, “Look I have no idea how you got here! There was an explosion and you just kind of appeared!”

Morathi’s face tried to stay level but she held her arm tightly and her legs visibly strained to keep her up.

“Keep still your lying tongue, and prepare to die!”

Eric’s eyes widened as she turned and reached for the sink and the knife within.

“Whoa, wait!” he cried.

She took hold of the blade and before she could turn around Eric felt a rise of self-preservation like he never felt before.

He leapt towards her and screamed, “Noooo!”

Colliding with her back and the mass of hair flowing down from her head, the ‘almost-otaku’ used all his strength to tackle Morathi and bring her to the floor.

She let out a wail of pain at the hit and lost her grip on the knife.

Only because of her weakened state did Eric have any chance of bringing her to the ground.

What followed next was a tense wrestling match in whom Eric did everything he could to avoid, or break out of, her grip.

She hissed and bit at his right arm.

“Ah! AGH!”

She laughed and began striking him as hard as she could.

The whole time Eric poorly tried to defend himself while weakly protesting “Stop!” “No!”

Eventually he won out with a blind punch.

Mostly he was just trying to deflect or stifle her blows… He’d not been in an actual physical fight since middle school… and he couldn’t quite get past the fact that he was up against a _woman…_ and not only that but an actual breathing, fantasy character…

It was fucking Morathi!

How was he supposed to fight?!

As she battered him he threw out a wild uncoordinated fist. It struck her in the jaw and her eyes fluttered as she leaned backwards, limp, and groaning.

With a fat lip quickly forming Eric brought his arm away from his face and he uncurled his body.

“I… I won?”

Looking down at his opponent Morathi groaned and bared her teeth, gritting, as she weakly writhed on the ground, her eyes shut tightly.

“Holy shit!” the human exclaimed.

Standing up Eric hastily reached for the knife which had flown out of the kitchenette, landing near the overturned couch.

“Look… I have no idea what happened, but! Y-you can’t just try to kill me!”

By the time he turned around Morathi had forced herself to roll over.

“Oh come on! Please!” he cried.

She looked up at him angrily as she tried to push herself up onto her knees.

“Stop it! _Please!_ ”

She ignored his words and growled as she tried to steady herself. Putting her hand on the edge of the island she tried to stand. Her breaths were ragged and she swayed uneasily, pausing in her advance.

For the first time since her appearance she actually looked around the room.

Eric watched as she blinked and tried to understand her surroundings.

‘She seems kind of confused’ he thought. ‘Well duh! If she’s literally actually, _the real Morathi_ … then she’s never seen anything artificial before… she’s kind of like a time traveller I guess?!’

“Where am I?” she finally asked. Her voice seemed somewhat earnest and just a little less wrathful than before.

Lowering the knife Eric coughed and responded, “I told you; Earth. You…”

Her lips rose and she leaned against the island for several seconds, moving from side to side.

“Are you okay?” Eric asked involuntarily.

She spread out her arms against the ledge for better balance and tilted her head upwards.

For the first time she saw what was illuminating the room.

The pot lights in the ceiling and their round bulbs made her furrow her brow.

Almost entranced she extended her right arm towards the light and breathily mumbled, “Curious…”

The strength in her limbs failed and the angle of her heavy headdress made her fall to the side.

Dropping the knife and lunging forwards Eric tried to catch the Druchii witch.

Barely making it in time Eric awkwardly gripped her by the shoulder and did his best to ease her to the floor.

She was unbelievably heavy and the habitually sedentary Eric groaned and grit his teeth as he did his best to hold her.

“Holy fucking shit!” he exhaled.

Gulping and looking her over briefly he shook his head, “She literally looks like her character model…”

Stepping away from her unconscious body he began wiping his brow. “W-well… What the fuck do I do now?!”

…


	2. Chapter 2

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Two: Bad touches and good touches

Eric had nearly two panic attacks as he tried to deal with the situation at hand.

He had hastily ‘cleaned’ the room; which meant that he had only moved some of debris and garbage and stood his couch back up so far.

Tentatively he stepped around his unconscious ‘guest’ and returned the kitchen knife back into its drawer.

‘How has no one heard that explosion?’ He wondered.

Taking a moment he surveyed the mess that his room had become. Books and manga had fallen off shelves. His nearly-dead potted plant had fallen over from the falling desk, and the blinds on his windows were half-off their track.

“Ugh…” he groaned, then a thought struck him and he chuckled, ‘it’s an improvement.’

He shook his head and tried to calm his erratic breath.

“Okay… well maybe” he began. Looking down at Morathi he tensed and his mind began doing somersaults. “Should I move her? Or s-something?”

Without any idea as to what else to do he nodded and slowly agreed to move the Druchii. As dumb an idea as that was.

Slowly he lowered towards her and extended his arms.

“Fuck” he whispered, “How will I even go about doing this?”

“I should like… Tie her up? O-or something…”

He did his best to suppress a cringe as he ran his fingers through his hair nervously. Looking around the floor he spotted his headset’s long cord and leaned to yank it closer.

Unplugging the jack from his broken computer with a strong pull he then unhooked the cord from the headset itself and began pulling it taut in his hands.

He scoffed and furrowed his brow uncomfortably, ‘It’ll have to do…’ he thought.

Taking another breath he nodded and slowly knelt beside her.

So close and without having to _fight for his life_ he looked over her face. He peeled his eyes for any indication that she was about to wake up.

Her nostrils moved in time with the motion of her exposed chest.

After several tense seconds of watching her heavy, unconscious, breathing, Eric felt safe enough to actually attempt the tying.

Lightly he picked up her left wrist and he shivered at the contact with her warm, living, flesh.

Her skin was slick with sweat, and grimy to the touch, but her arms were eerily pliable and poseable.

Eric felt weird, uncomfortable, and dirty. The fact that he was now… ‘posing’ and moving an unconscious woman’s arms and tying her wrists together wasn’t helping.

Morathi’s ‘armour-kini’ made the whole situation even worse, which Eric didn’t really think was possible.

As he wrapped the cord around her limp wrists and forearms he was doing everything in his power not to look at her breasts… But as he awkwardly continued to tighten the audio cord he found himself stealing the occasional peek.

‘It’s literally Morathi!’ he thought.

As soon as the cable was tied and he drew a knot he stood up panting.

Running his hands though his hair he shivered and nervously tried to get his bearings.

“Okay… she’s tied. Not going to hurt me… o-or anything else.”

He exhaled, and turned around, ‘Maybe I should,’ he looked at his couch and then her unconscious body. ‘Move her?’

Taking a breath he stepped back towards her and slowly tucked his arms under hers, carefully he tried to lift her up but she was deceptively heavy… That and her sharp, pokey, crown-thing made it even more awkward to even try.

“Okay then.”

Moving his arms from out under hers he brushed her armpits and receive two wet streaks of her sweat. Cringing loudly he groaned, “Augh oh… that’s gross…”

She mumbled somewhat at the noise and Eric’s eyes widened. ‘Shit! Shut up you idiot!’

‘Well I should still do… something!’ Looking around he quietly stepped towards his linen closet to pull out one of his few bed covers.

The material was a light blue and the sudden injection of colour seemed comically timed. Eric’s nerves were so shot that he couldn’t appreciate the moment and instead unrolled the blanket.

Awkwardly he stepped towards his ‘guest’ and laid the blanket over top of Morathi’s body.

Seeing her crown and armour up close, in person, Eric couldn’t help but be at once marvelled and made utterly uncomfortable by the sight of it.

‘How does it even come off? Surely that can’t be fun to wear…’ he exhaled and sat on his couch, eyes transfixed on the sleeping woman on his apartment floor.

Looking over at his ruined desk and computer he shook his head, before reaching his hand into his pocket.

Pulling out his phone he opened an internet tab and simply queried: ‘Morathi’.

He looked at the artwork, the miniature models, and then the game renders. Each picture made him shiver. It… it really was her lying on his floor. Either that or the single best cosplay he’d ever seen…

Moving his phone down he stared at her face,

‘The hag-sorceress… the shadow queen, mother of the Druchii, mother of Malekith… a character from a _fictional_ thing…’

Right there

On _his_ floor

He was able to look away from her and at the clock on his phone; it was two thirty six in the morning.

“Oh god…” he whispered.

Lifting his feet off the floor he rested his chin on his knees and blinked several times as he tried to stay somewhat in control of himself.

‘She’s fucking terrifying…’ he mumbled.

His tired mind was awash with all kinds of thoughts as he thought about the lore he knew, the in-game things he saw her do… Shaking his head he closed his eyes and muffled a scream of frustration, “Get a grip on yourself!”

“This isn’t happening!”

He repeated the words to himself several times until he faltered and began wearily breathing, his head hanging in between his knees.

…

Morathi groaned and stirred and Eric’s tired head shot up at the noise.

Her eyes blinked and she grumbled as she pushed the blanket off and sat up.

The young man gulped and took several escalating breaths as he tried to form a sentence.

She looked at her bound hands and groaned as she easily pulled her arms away from each other and the cord unwrapped and fell away.

‘Well shit…’ Eric thought.

Since he was behind her he thought it best to not scare her… Lest she actually be capable of magic and fucking… fry him to a crisp or something.

He cleared his throat and meekly asked, “M-Morathi?”

She stopped still and slowly turned her head around to see him.

“Now… b-before you do anything, uh… d-dread lady? Uh, just listen…”

Morathi turned back around and slowly rose to her feet.

“I didn’t summon you… I have no idea what happened but… uh… w-what exactly do you know?”

He shook his head and smacked himself, “I-I mean, what happened, or what do you remember?”

She snarled as she turned to look at him again, “You dare to presume you may speak to me?”

‘This is not going to be easy…’ Eric thought.

“Okay… I apologise, I’m sure it’s not the kind of speech you’re used to but… Uh, I-I’ve got bad news for you…”

She turned around to face him and drew a deep breath as she straightened her back.

‘What do I do?! What do I do?! Lore, or real stuff… _lore or reality?!_ ’

Her lip curled in a sneer and it looked physically painful for her to actually say, “I will listen to your ‘news’ worm.”

Eric shivered under her unblinking, cold, beautiful, gaze. He decided; ‘lore first… then break her into reality…’

“This isn’t Naggarond…”

Her face lightened by a fraction of a degree and she parted her lips, “Oh?”

He nodded, “This isn’t Ulthuan either… This isn’t Bretonnia…” his chest heaved and he slowly began to stand off the couch.

“Y-you’re not… uh…” he took a nervous breath and tried to deliver the line seriously.

“You’re on another planet.”

She furrowed her brow and her body moved backwards as she seemed to be hit with his words.

Then she quickly scoffed and waved a hand up, “How dare you, such a thing is-“

Eric held up his hands, “Please j-just hear me out…”

‘Think boy, think!’ he told himself.

Pointing to his apartment’s window and balcony door he immediately thought of the night-sky, and the city scape as the best way to prove her ‘change in locale’.

Pushing the broken blinds aside they fell with a loud crash and Eric nervously laughed. Morathi’s expression however was unmoved.

Clearing his throat he pointed at the sky and the moon, and then the lights of the city’s streets and the other apartment buildings.

“See? L-look there’s only one moon… and the constellations are different right?”

Morathi tilted her head and stabbed Eric with her eyes; she remained motionless before finally begrudgingly stepping forwards.

Eric stepped away from the window and gave her a wide birth.

She looked out the glass and paused mid-step.

Her eyes darted from street lamp to street lamp. When the occasional car drove past she watched it with complete confusion.

Then she looked up at the stars and stepped as close to the glass as she could.

Her lips moved as she whispered to herself and she searched for anything ‘familiar’.

Turning away from the window slowly her face seemed utterly different, but she was trying to recompose herself.

“You may be right…” she eventually agreed. “Or it’s an illusion.”

Looking at Eric she eyed him head to toe before speaking again, “I can feel the words pouring off of you… speak, fool!”

Eric’s body shook and he nodded his head, “sure!”

‘Lore. Reality. Lore or reality?!’

“Y-you’re on the planet Earth… I uh, look I’m-“

She snapped, “I understand I am on another planet! How do you know me? Who are you? Whom do you serve?!”

‘Oof’ Eric thought, ‘There it is… how I know her…’

‘Think fast dumbass!’

“M-my name is Eric… I d-don’t serve anyone. I was going about my business when you kind of just appeared.”

She tilted her head back and drew in a breath through her nostrils.

“Okay, I don’t quite know how to explain this…”

She stepped forwards and her body shook with irritation, “Try.”

‘Whew…’

“Okay… uh you’re not going to like it…”

“I’m not, ‘liking’ it so far already, I doubt that it will improve.”

Eric’s tongue twisted and his mind swirled as he tried to make up different ways to say it, or to lie, but he eventually shut his eyes and shivered, ‘What the fuck do I say? “You’re not exactly ‘real’”? Huh? Like how the fuck do I explain _that!_ ”

“I grow weary fool!”

“I-I just do, okay? You’re Morathi, hag sorceress of Ghrond, mother of Malekith, wife of that elvish king Areon…”

“Aenarion!” she corrected, “I ought to lay you low right now for such insolence!”

Her lip shook and she tensed. But Eric noticed her strange tremor. ‘In all seriousness I ought to be dead already, unless…’

“C-can you not use your magic?” he blurted out.

Her brow contorted and she moved back insulted, “How dare you-“

“Well I mean maybe y-you’re too weak from a portal or something?”

She looked away and furrowed her brow.

“Tell me… _Eric_ , you say you don’t serve anyone?”

He nodded, “Yeah… well… not in the way you mean.”

She ignored his comment and looked back to the window.

She muttered to herself, “I have enough for this…”

Pointing one of her long fingers and its black, claw-like, nail at Eric her voice became strangely louder as the air filled with something…

“You will spill all your secrets and hold nothing from me.”

Eric’s chest tightened and he cringed, expecting a lightning bolt or something to strike him. When nothing actually happened he lowered his hands and spoke, “Uh… I wasn’t going to lie to you anyway?”

“Silence!” she ordered.

Eric curtly held his tongue and nodded.

“Tell me, what is this place?”

Eric felt strangely particular as he began, “Acadia-Green apartment complex, this is apartment five-oh-four. We are on the fifth floor.”

She furrowed her brow, not having the context to understand the information.

“And this kingdom? Where are we?”

Eric’s tongue rolled oddly as he spoke, “The Dominion of Canada”

Nodding she ‘hmmd’, “And your ruler? Who is your king?”

“Well we actually have queen… Elizabeth the second…”

Morathi brought one of her fingers to her mouth and furrowed her brow.

“This queen… Where does she reside?”

“Across the sea, in the UK.”

The Druchii drew another breath, “What?”

She stepped forwards and pointed at Eric, “What sea? What is a ‘You’ ‘Keh’?”

“The Atlantic ocean and the UK stands for United Kingdom.”

Morathi shook her head; each question’s answer begot more questions for her it seemed.

“Gah! This land… This city; who is the immediate ruler?”

Eric shrugged as he spoke, “I don’t know… there’s mayoral elections to be-“

Throwing her hand up the Druchii stepped away and brought her right hand to her lips again.

“How many live here?” she nodded and mumbled, “Perhaps I can secure the city on my own… make use of the libraries and spell casters here…”

Eric’s voice rose and he answered, “One million, give or take.”

Morathi paused and turned slowly, disbelieving what she just heard.

Eric nodded and repeated, “About a million.”

“How many people live in this realm?”

The human paused, “Uh… about like thirty five million I think?”

She stepped backwards.

“What? H-how?”

At this Eric shrugged, even though her magic was weakly compelling him to answer as precisely as he could, that specific question was beyond his ability to explain.

“It just is…”

She shook her head.

“With that kind of a population…” she began mumbling.

“How old is this country?”

Eric raised a brow, “Well, like modern-speaking it’s only one hundred and fifty or so, but the continent was discovered like six hundred years ago.”

Morathi scratched her forehead and looked at the floor.

“I…” Her voice stopped and she actually became speechless, lost in her thoughts.

‘Please don’t ask me how I know about you…’ Eric thought.

The Druchii was quiet for several seconds, until she moved towards the couch and proceeded to sit down wearily.

She looked up at Eric and he blinked and stayed still.

“It’s late is it naught?”

He nodded, “It’s like three-“ He stopped himself.

“What?” she asked.

“Well, time. You know, it’s going to be… different I can’t really explain it to you…”

She snarled and leaned back in her seat.

Eric felt weak and his chest was heavy, he began debating something.

‘Do I show her my phone? Or like… would that be like a caveman seeing a lighter?’

“M-Morathi?”

He couldn’t believe he was actually asking that seriously.

“Hmmph.” She grunted.

“C-can I get you anything? Like… water o-or something?”

She looked around, “Is that it? You wish to play host to me?”

Eric smiled in disbelief, “Well, I mean, you’re in my apartment so… I guess, for as long as you’re staying ‘here’.”

“Tell me _Eric_ , do you know what I am capable of?”

With a tense breath he responded, “Only what I’ve read…”

She nodded approvingly, her ego somewhat stoked to hear it.

“But…”

Her face drooped and she raised a brow, “But?” she repeated.

‘Oh god… fucks sake! How do I do this?’

‘Fuck…’ he whispered, “You must have come here because of some magical shit, and like you can’t go back right now for whatever magical reason right? Like you’re weak or something?”

She tilted her head and looked down her nose at Eric before looking at her right hand.

She snapped her fingers and a faint blue flame flickered in between her thumb and middle finger.

“So it would seem…”

Eric shook his head, ‘this is ridiculous’ before exhaling heavily.

“If I… help you to return home, would you promise not to kill me?”

She looked at her fingers for a few more seconds before staring him down.

“No.”

Eric furrowed his brow, “W-what? Fucking n-‘no’?!”

She nodded, “You dared to touch me; I can hardly let such an insult pass unpunished.”

He scoffed and stepped back, “Even if I help you? Of my own free-will?”

She began to rise from the couch and took a step forwards.

“I think not Eric, peasant servant of Queen Elizabeth; I shall send you to your gods now.”

“What?! Well like… aren’t you wondering why you’re even here in the first place?”

She furrowed her brow and stopped.

She paused and brought her hand to her chin as she thought.

“I wager Malekith has something to do with it…” she laughed “he’s sent me to other worlds before.”

Her chuckle was eerie and uncomfortable to listen to.

She tilted her head to the side and smirked, “But this is the first time a human has been there to greet me. No matter.”

Eric stepped back and held up his hand, “Oh, c-come on!” His voice pleaded and his eyes widened as he shivered.

His eyes darted around and she raised her hand as black swirling dust and purple smoke began to grow around her fingers. “I have enough for this I’m sure.” The spell she was weaving began to materialise and crackle with energy.

“W-what if I said sorry?!”

The ball of energy in her hand was loudly snapping and hissing with magic. She made a motion like she was about to throw and Eric shut his eyes and winced, involuntarily preparing to be blown to oblivion.

The noise of the spell got louder and closer and then with a scream the sound ceased.

Turned out the scream came from Eric…

Tentatively opening his eyes he saw Morathi’s entertained expression before she cackled loudly.

Eric’s face went from disbelief to confusion.

“Wh-wha?” he panted out.

“Oh you fool… did you think I’d waste my power on you?” she laughed, “Until I am restored to my _full_ strength you shall wait upon me and my every whim!”

Eric didn’t know whether to be thankful or not.

“I… I will?”

Raising a brow the hag-sorceress sneered, “Or do you wish to burn from the inside out?”

Shaking his head the human responded, “Waiting upon you sounds totally good…”

She tilted her head and nodded, “Excellent.”

…


	3. Chapter 3

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Three: The morning which didn’t end

Eric filled a glass with water and brought it to his ‘guest’.

Morathi was currently reclined on his couch and had been rubbing her chin incessantly, deep in thought. Occasionally she’d mumble but she never moved her eyes away from a spot on the floor.

Holding the wet glass out to her Eric expected her to take it and act like any other house guest or friend he’d had over.

But when she didn’t even look at him or receive the glass he furrowed his brow.

“Uh, Morathi?” he asked.

She looked at him annoyed, quickly saying, “Interrupt my thoughts again and I’ll throw you to the witch-elves.”

Eric nodded at the threat and held his tongue. ‘W-well… fuck…’

Visions of white haired, hot, scantily clad women flashed in his mind and momentarily he thought that it wouldn’t be _that_ bad. But then he remembered that they were all basically crazy and knife-happy… Then he shuddered as he thought, ‘That’s one yandere experience I can forego…’

She returned to her thinking and after several minutes she finally extended her hand to take the glass.

“Oh thank god…” he whispered.

She sipped the water gingerly as Eric stepped away and back into the kitchenette.

She continued to stare at the floor, and Eric was doing his best not to gawk at her.

Eventually she rolled her eyes and turned to look at him, “What! I can still see you, you know?”

He bowed his head, “S-sorry! But uh…” he exhaled and shook his head while pointing, “isn’t that thing heavy?”

His finger was aimed at her crown and she raised an eyebrow as she coolly responded, “Heavy is the weight of my station… why should I ever forget it?”

Pursing his lips Eric nodded slowly, ‘that didn’t really answer my question…’

He sighed and looked around at the still messy room.

“So…”

She took another sip before looking at the cylindrical glass oddly and echoing him, “So?” she repeated.

“Do you sleep?” he asked.

“Far too much is afoot for me to slumber little human.”

He chuckled uncomfortably, “I meant in general…”

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a fool.”

Eric held up his hands and averted his eyes, embarrassed, “Okay, sorry...”

She groaned, “If you apologise again I’ll flay you.”

He gulped at her gaze, “Right, got it.”

She let out a single ‘mhmm’ in response.

He cocked his mouth and noiselessly cleared his throat, the apprehension at a girl no, a _woman_ , in his apartment made his heart beat heavily. “Uh, c-can I ask you some questions?”

She drew a long breath, “I grow weary of conversation _Eric_ … But be quick about it.”

Taking in a shallow breath he pointed at her feet trying to awkwardly inject levity, “Don’t you like shoes? Like… ha, it seems really unco-“

His voice faltered at her expression and he didn’t finish the word.

“Eric… if you do wish to live, silence now.”

He gulped and nodded emphatically, “I’m sorry; I’ll keep the stupid to a minimum…”

She groaned at his apology, but let out an exacerbated ‘mhmm’ before looking over the debris of the room. He waited a few seconds before speaking again.

He shivered as he opened his mouth, still trying, nervously, to make light of the ridiculous situation, “What should I call you? Like, ‘your grace’?”

As soon as the words were past his lips he wanted to smack himself, ‘What is this Game of Thrones?!’

She raised a brow and seemed to soften. Slowly she began to chuckle, “You seek to entertain me human?” Then she repeated, “Your grace” With a nod she actually smiled, “I like that.”

Eric cringed, ‘Ugh! That was stupid.’

“Your fear and grovelling is somewhat satisfying…”

Finishing her drink she held the empty glass out and her voice rose in an even, confident, tone, “But no, I am Morathi, Phoenix Queen and Hag-Sorceress. I require no additional dignity.”

Dryly swallowing the human nodded and stepped towards her hesitantly.

‘I still can’t believe it…’ he thought, ‘she’s living and breathing, and actually drank?! Like, she’s _real._ ’

He extended his hands to receive the cup and he bowed his head, “Okay then, Hag-Sorceress.”

Eric took the glass from her and exhaled in disbelief, “What happens now? Or, like, is there anything I can get you? I mean I don’t have much but…”

“Silence, Eric!” she hissed, holding her hand up she looked ahead, “Footfalls approach!”

Eric furrowed his brow before turning towards the door.

“Oh shit!” he exclaimed.

Outside a heavyset person must have been walking to his door.

She rose from the couch and balled her hands into fists.

Then there were several bangs, punctuated by a loud voice, “Five-oh-four? We’ve received some tenant complaints about banging and general noise.”

“Shit!” he whispered.

She looked at him before looking back at the door with a grimace.

Eric stepped forwards, “Right! Uh, I fell and knocked over my desk, ha! Uh, it won’t happen again!”

The building’s officer didn’t seem convinced, and at hearing Eric’s voice he became more irritated that the complaints had been confirmed.

“Sir, this is the third time we’ve had noise complaints about this unit.”

Eric huffed, “Yeah, no problem… s-sorry about that! But, uh I don’t plan on knocking any more shit over anytime soon.”

The man grumbled, “And the cigarette smoke, that wouldn’t be your apartment either would it?”

Eric held back a nervous laugh and lied, “Nope!”

He looked over at Morathi, still uneasy to not be alone in his home.

The man on the other side of the door grunted and cleared his throat obviously he wasn’t happy to have come out, and he probably knew that Eric was lying, but really what could he do?

“Be careful sir. Have a good night.”

Eric nodded and grit his teeth as he cringed, “Y-you too…”

Sighing he rubbed his brow. And was quickly reminded of his guest.

“Who was that creature?” Morathi asked.

Eric nearly yelped and let out a high pitched and weary exhale.

“This building has people who work in it… and uh they answer tenants’ questions and stuff. If people complain enough the building’s people send someone to ‘deal’ with the issue.”

She furrowed her brow and shook her head in confusion, before dismissing the subject, “Enough prattle…”

‘Man this is going to be weird…’ Eric thought.

…

After she’d settled back down and sat on the couch Morathi looked the room over, floor to ceiling, eyeing and studying everything with an inquisitive and _very_ judgemental expression.

Yet the whole time she never said anything, and didn’t ask him and questions.

Eric couldn’t help but feel absolutely embarrassed at his anime, weeb stuff, and general nerd shit…

He groaned quietly. Everything about his place made him feel worse.

At least when his friends came over it was different! They were all guys, and they were just as nerdy and into obscure stuff as he was.

But here was… a… a chick! Well, a _woman_ and she was a tall… fucking hot one, sitting, looking over his shit with a furrowed, weirded-out expression...

At least his insecurities made him think she was judging… But more than likely she just didn’t know how to make sense of her surroundings.

He shot a look at his phone screen, it was nearly three thirty now, and he grimaced while he rubbed at his neck.

It was late and he was certainly feeling it… but his guest wasn’t about to allow him any time to rest.

That and the blast zone from his computer desk reminded him he’d need to clean up and fix his shit…

‘Christ’ he swore, ‘there’s like eight hundred dollars at least, and I haven’t even been able to see the damage yet!’

‘Ugh… this is totally a nightmare…’

Ignoring his computer he looked back to the… the, fucking milf sitting on his couch… his ‘guest’.

‘Just take a deep breath man… maybe she’s n-not all that bad?’ he tried to lighten his features and he quietly sighed, ‘Whew…’

“So Morathi?”

She continued looking around until her eyes settled on a small figurine in a display box on the shelf over hanging the TV.

She ‘mhmmed’ in response and began to stand.

Eric furrowed his brow as he watched her step over the debris and improvised coffee table towards the figure. She walked with a weird grace… like, well like she hadn’t just stepped over a ruined coffee table, broken pieces, or garbage.

Clearing his throat he continued, “It’s really late… you wouldn’t want a, a bed at all would you?”

‘Thank _god_ I just did laundry… well… I mean, I did laundry like a week ago…’ he shook his head, ‘Gah! At least I’ve not been that sweaty!’

She shook her head slightly and her dark locks of hair tossed to either side along her back.

“What is this dreadful apparition?” she asked as she crinkled her nose and leaned towards the small anime girl.

Eric exhaled defeated, ‘Great… she’s going to give me shit for my Figma’s too?’

She leaned back and raised an eyebrow as she continued to stare at the plastic figurine.

‘Well dumbass, you better answer her!’

He stepped out of the kitchenette and towards her as he explained,

“It’s a character from a show, well… a series I really like. _Ryuka of the Magical Order_. And, that’s the main character; Ryuka.”

Morathi cocked her head to the side as she pursed her lips, “You speak in riddles to me.”

Eric was somewhat relieved that she wasn’t laying into him with insults yet and he tried to be even voiced, his palms were so sweaty from nerves and he tried to explain.

‘It’s bad enough when my parents asked me stuff like that when I still lived at home, but she literally has no frame of reference!’

“Well, she’s a spell caster, like you. But she’s uh…”

Morathi’s expression changed and she narrowed her vision at the small statue, hissing “A fool? Weak? A pretender?!”

Eric leaned back from the force of her tone, furrowing his brow, “uh well, she’s young and inexperienced… but it’s on purpose it’s a comedy show.”

Morathi straightened and her expression cooled somewhat, “Ah…” she looked at him for a flash before staring back at the little anime girl, “so it’s for entertainment?”

Eric nodded as he tried to equate it to something medieval, “Yeah, it’s like… uh, it’s like a play!”

The Hag-Sorceress nodded and she stepped away from the statue, “I see now. And you received this doll as a child from these travelling mummers and troubadours? Odd that you’ve kept it into adulthood…”

Eric tried not to laugh and he nodded uneasily, ‘ _Right_ …’

She nodded again at herself and began stepping around the room, more closely scrutinising the artwork, posters, and books.

‘Okay she seems kind of distracted! Maybe she’s like… lightened up?’

Eric rubbed his hands together nervously as he tried to be ‘host-y’.

“So… was there anything I could get you? I’ve not got a whole lot of food right now but… I could hop to the servo down the block.”

“And raise a host of footmen to try and test me? You know I am weakened…” she shook her head and looked away from a framed and signed movie poster.

Looking down her nose at the young man, she continued, “Nay. You shan’t leave my sight, unless I specifically bid you to.”

Eric exhaled wearily, “Well then, I’m going to make coffee… at this rate I guess I’m staying up all night…”

She looked at him and tilted her head back, “Making? What is this you’re making?”

Eric stepped into the kitchenette and took hold of the coffee pot from its housing, “Coffee. It’s a kind of drink. Helps keep you up, gives you energy.”

She furrowed her brow and mumbled before clearing her throat and stepping forwards, waving her hand, “Show me this beverage.”

Her dark fabric and long hair wreathed around her and she almost glided across the floor.

A cool shiver came over the young man and his hair began to move upright, ‘I don’t think I’ll ever get used to watching her move towards me…’ Eric thought.

…

The Druchii witch watched with a furrowed brow as the otaku went about the ritual of the black-bean juice…

Filling the pot with water from the tap, Morathi tried to keep a neutral expression, but Eric could easily tell that instant, running, clear water was somewhat of a marvel to her.

Yet her expression at the beginning of the coffee brewing gave away her interest.

The machine whirred and crackled as it sent boiling water through the filter and the, black, magical, bean grounds.

The whole while Morathi was intently staring down the blue light on the coffee-maker’s interface, and at each click and whir she tensed and or moved uncomfortably.

Eric raised an eyebrow as much as he dared in amusement and was doing everything he could not to laugh out loud.

‘The way she stares at lights…’ he quietly chuckled, ‘She looks like a moth at the same time as a caveman… Oh man I wonder what else could make her lose her shit?’

When the pot finally had something in it to show her he brought down a mug from one of his cupboards at random.

In the light of the kitchenette he saw that its surface was embossed with a quote from a show; ‘ _It’s stir fry-day!’_ and he sniggered but immediately shook his head, scolding himself; ‘Now’s not the time to be laughing!’

Putting the mug on the counter he took hold of the pot and explained the process of how the machine worked, surprisingly she didn’t interrupt him and simply listened along. She said nothing but continued to maintain a strange expression as she looked at everything.

Eric put the steaming cup on the kitchenette island’s surface and he nodded to her.

“This is…” she began hesitantly, “Coffee?”

She furrowed her brow and tilted her head back as she looked down her nose at the mug.

Eric nodded and she quietly repeated to herself, “Coffee.”

She drew in a breath and her nostrils flared before she declared, “It smells revolting.”

“Well, uh, would you like to try it at least?”

She turned quickly and left the kitchen, musing, “I think not.”

Eric raised a brow and shrugged before picking his mug back up and giving it a few blows.

When it was cool enough to drink the rush of caffeine was eagerly welcomed.

And Eric sorely needed it…

After she left the kitchenette her earlier interest in the figurine had begun a tidal wave of questions as she pointed to and inquired about the light switch, the glass windows, the stove, the drywall, the pictures, posters, and a variety of other things so regular and benign to daily life Eric didn’t register them as interesting anymore.

This went on like a lightning-speed round, she was baffled by the electric lights and continued to insist that it was magic, no matter how much Eric tried to explain it was wires and ‘power’.

It was funny and weird to him, but…

But nothing proved to be a greater reveal than when asked about the TV on the wall.

Eric only prayed that it wasn’t going to be a mistake.

…

“Okay… so sit on the couch there and, uh.” The young man let out a uneasy huff, “I’ll get it all set up…”

Reaching for the power button on the bottom of the thin flat screen’s edge he held the button until the red waiting-light changed and disappeared. With a ‘ba-boom’ the screen came to life.

Her eyes were wide when low grey light flooded the room.

Pushing the coffee table over Eric pulled out the remote and after a few clicks he turned on the Netflix app.

His heart was beating like a drum the whole time and he nervously kept looking towards Morathi.

She never moved her eyes from the screen and she looked at the title cards and little pictures for each film with slightly parted lips, remaining uneasily still as she watched and listened to him explain what it was, how it worked, and so on.

She seemed completely out of it though…

Without making a selection, one of the movies the cursor had fallen on began to play a short teaser of the film.

Eric bit his lip as he laughed at her reaction.

Morathi had straightened in her seat and her eyes widened completely as she watched the characters move and exchange dialogue.

She pointed, and seemed like she was going to rise as she exclaimed, “What spell has such visions within it?!”

Darting her eyes to Eric she asked, “What premonition am I seeing?!”

He chuckled, “It’s a movie… like I said. It’s for fun… like… here,”

Clicking down he headed to ‘My List’ and scrolled through his favourited movies.

Inhaling he nodded and made a selection.

‘I… well,’ he laughed under his breath, “I hope you like this one. Cause I guess we’re watching a movie together.”

She looked at him and raised a brow, she didn’t seem angry… she actually seemed interested.

‘A classic first date move… But… here’s hoping she likes the selection!’

As the screen darkened and the credits began he furrowed his brow at what he had just thought.

“What’s happening?!” she asked sternly.

“Just hang on, do you see the screen?” Eric sat on the edge of the couch and looked at his Druchii guest as she studied the TV.

Eventually one of the credits rolled and she watched the geometric shapes move with dazzled interest, slowly she responded, almost entranced, “Yes…”

_‘The world has changed…’_

“Wait! Who’s talking?!” Looking at Eric in the dark she sternly raised a brow.

_‘I feel it in the water…’_

“It’s the TV there, it’s the movie… You know, you might actually like this one, cause it’s got… well, magic and elves and stuff in it…”

She looked back at the TV and brought a hand to her chin and covered her mouth as she stared unblinkingly.

_‘… Much that once was is lost, for none now live, who remember it…’_

Morathi cocked her head to the side and leaned forwards, as the music began to swell and the movie title came on the screen.

‘Uh… what if this movie gives her ideas you dumbass!?’

Eric pursed his lips.

‘Did you forget she’ll probably be cheering for the _bad guys? SINCE SHE IS ONE!’_

Looking at his coffee mug and then his guest he shut his eyes tightly at his stupidity.

‘I’m too tired and too f-ing dumb to live…’

‘Oh man, I hope she’s not as evil as the lore and expanded universe make her out to be… Great thinking dumbass…’

When the opening battle scene began her eyes widened and she shifted in her seat as the music climbed. But when Sauron started smashing men left and right, she began a low chuckle excitedly leaning forwards and smiling.

“What is this?!” she asked in a hushed whisper.

Eric raised a brow and cringed, daring to ask; “D-do you like it?”

As Isildur picked up the ring Morathi’s eyes widened and crinkled in the corners with sadistic glee, nodding along to Cate Blanchett’s narration.

She responded slowly, “Oh yes…” before quieting and trailing off.

Eric took a sip of his drink and drew a breath, ‘Well… uh, maybe it wasn’t that bad an idea then?’ he thought hopefully.

…


	4. Chapter 4

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Four: The noodles, of doom

‘Why _in GOD’S NAME_ did I pick Lord of the Rings?!’ Eric thought.

He had grown bags under his eyes the size of baseballs… or at least it felt like that. But he was so tired he was beginning to feel like he was buzzed again.

Morathi watched the whole movie, barely blinking.

Occasionally she’d make a comment or exclamation, but for the most part she was utterly entranced by the film.

‘That’s good I guess, better than the last chick I tried to show it to...’

When the credits began to roll she furrowed her brow.

“What is this Eric?”

Clearing his throat and feeling like a reanimated corpse Eric sat up to grab the remote.

“It’s over… that was the movie. Did you like it?”

She smirked but quickly made her face plain again, “Far too elfish for my liking… that prince legolanius was _annoying_ … He reminded me of far too many from the Phoenix Court.”

Eric stifled a laugh; her sudden turn and attempt at obfuscation proved that she’d enjoyed it somewhat innocently.

‘Dude… this is just _too_ meta for me…’

She sat backwards and her voice rose as she continued, “The dawi was entertaining…”

“But most interesting was the wizard… what was it he was doing?”

Eric furrowed his brow and turned off the TV.

“Well… which one?”

“The white one, in the great tower.”

“With the Urukhai?”

Morathi nodded, “Creating those creatures from pure magic? Powerful, truly… but…” she smirked and rubbed her chin in thought.

“Possible?”

She laughed mutely through her lips before nodding to herself.

Eric smirked at her almost nerd-like interest, “So what did you think of the Ring Wraiths and the Dark Lord?”

She looked back at her host with intense eyes before waving her hand and raising her voice, somewhat elated,

“Foolish of him to have not been able to find his artefact after so long… But, wise in his ensnaring and use of servants.”

She nodded in approval, before becoming taken with ire.

“That she-elf, the damned Asur princess should have been slain on that river fjord… Such a trick as to stave off a battle and use a spell such as she did!”

Eric tried not to laugh.

“As well, those _Halflings_ ugh, why couldn’t they have summoned a party of knights?”

He didn’t interject, but she continued to make comments and voice ideas about the overall plot and implications of Tolkien’s universe.

Eventually, in her new-fan rambling she said; “But I am unhappy that Sauron was foiled at so many turns…”

Reminding him that he was correct earlier, she was still indeed _one of the badguys…_

But before he realised the gravity of her morally dubious team, the otaku’s tongue moved faster than his tired brain could control and he blurted out; “Well he didn’t have his mom looking out for him.”

The young man’s eyes widened as he realised what he had said and then Morathi slowly turned her head away from the screen to face him.

They looked at one another and Eric shook under her unflinching gaze.

Then a loud noise startled him and he took a second to realise, she was laughing.

Arching her neck back and holding her eyes shut tightly, Morathi let out a howl of laughter. Bringing her right hand towards her abdomen she held her belly as she continued to laugh, before waving her left hand at Eric.

“Oh! How rich! _How true!_ Gods below boy…”

She opened her eyes to look at Eric before beginning to rise louder in her elated laughter.

“O-oh your face! T-that! Ah ha ha!”

She eventually calmed down and grunted as she shook her head and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye with her left hand.

“Oh… I hadn’t thought of it like that, but oh; so how true!”

“I didn’t even see it before you said that! Even the plate armour! _Ah ha ha!_ That Sauron _is_ just like my Malekith!”

Eric hesitantly began chuckling along and smiling.

When Morathi had finally, truly, calmed down she grunted and her face returned to its neutral ‘resting-bitch’.

Her voice was stern as she scolded, “Make another jest like that however and I’ll throw you from this tower.”

Eric’s face quailed and he nodded, “Right… you got it.”

She smirked and raised her feet in a stretch, her voice now conciliatory “Even if it was the most humorous thing I’ve heard in a decade…”

The human nodded again and she let out a weary groan.

“Now I am tired, those visions you showed me-“

“movie…”

She raised a brow, and repeated, “ _Movie_ ”

“My eyes and mind must rest…”

“I shall lay claim to your chambers.”

Eric furrowed his brow as she rose and stood.

‘Fuck…’

“Well it’s kind of messy but-“

“I care not for your fanciful excuses Eric, if it is anything like the rest of your… _hovel_ than I shall steel myself and make do.”

Hopping ahead of her the human headed down the hall and pushed open his room’s door.

His laundry was collected in a pile towards the outer wall underneath the window, and his sheets were bunched up in weird piles.

But really… it wasn’t nearly as bad as he feared.

She pushed past him, confidently striding into the small bedroom.

“Well t-this is my place uh, you can-“

She raised a brow and turned around, “Adequate, yes, adequate. It shall do.”

Morathi took hold of the door handle and shut it, almost slamming into Eric; it forced him to jump back awkwardly,

“M-Morathi, did you want me to like… wake you up?”

Her voice came through, muffled, but no less potent and commanding.

“Leave me be, I must _ruminate_.”

He heard a clunk and then she grunted,

“Yes… I must mediate and think.”

He furrowed his brow and felt his chest a mess of anxiousness and strangeness, disappointed that the night had gone as it did and so suddenly ended.

Somewhat dejected he offered hopefully, “R-right… well uh, if you need anything…”

He cringed at himself and stepped away from his door uneasily.

“Oh god… I’m hopeless.” He complained.

Shaking his head and turning off his lights he looked at his couch and sighed.

“Christ, please be a nightmare… please be a nightmare.”

Collapsing onto the long piece of Ikea furniture Eric let out a cry of exacerbation into the cushion.

The coffee, the beer, everything had worn off and now he only felt tired and crazed from the _stupidity… the absolute madness of his situation._

…

Sleep was welcome, it was warm, and it was so fucking restful Eric awoke with a loud groan and stretch,

Christ it was almost euphoric…

Then, he remembered

And he sat up with a start; looking around the room with wild, searching, eyes.

His desk was right where it usually was, his computer all in one piece. His chair tucked under his table top. A few cans sat on his coffee table but…

“It’s all… n-normal?”

He scoffed and chuckled in disbelief.

“It _was_ all a dream! I just passed out on the couch is all!”

Shaking his head and rubbing his eyes he reached for his phone in his jean pockets and read the time.

Twelve twenty four.

“I slept through my alarm I guess. But…” he sat up and rose to a stand as he looked over everything in his apartment.

“Thank god! Holy fuck that was a bizarre dream…”

Drawing in a deep breath he shivered and felt an uncomfortable weight in his guts.

“Christ I got to piss…”

Shaking his head he looked over the cans and ashtray on his table.

“Damn, did I really drink that much? I thought it was just a couple…”

Walking down the hall to his bathroom he lifted the toilet lid and unzipped his fly.

With a satisfying groan he leaned back and stretched his neck, yawning, as he relieved himself.

‘I totally have never had a dream that vivid and that, just plain… _weird_ …’

Smirking to himself he shook off and flushed.

‘If dreams tell you anything…’ he thought.

“Then I need a girlfriend…” he whispered to himself.

Turning around he looked at his bedroom door.

‘Closed’

He raised a brow and his thoughts offered a crazy possibility.

‘What if it wasn’t a dream?’

He gulped and furrowed his brow, ‘Come on… shut up self. That’s like, _retarded_ come on…’

Sniffing at his armpit he recoiled at the odour.

“Need some clean clothes, then I’ll shower, get dressed and do some of the stuff I’ve got to do…” he whispered aloud.

Wrapping his fingers around his door handle he gulped again before slowly opening the portal to his bedroom.

It was exactly as it was yesterday, and his eyes surveyed the room carefully.

His dresser, watches, hats, everything was either hanging or lying where he had always had them.

His skateboard was upside down on the floor, but…

Then he looked at his bed.

And his heart sank as his eyes widened.

_‘Oh… god… no…’_

Bumps and curves lay underneath his thin bedsheet.

His eyes traced them towards the pillows and head of the bed.

Thick black hair extended in every direction.

_Morathi_

He felt his heartrate spike as soon as he saw her face.

In the bough of sheet, pillow, and hair; a pale sliver of ivory skin, obstructed and almost completely hidden by her mass of ebony locks, poked out into view.

She stirred and Eric threw himself out of his room so fast he nearly tripped backwards.

The Hag Sorceress had removed her crown, but… he couldn’t see it on the floor.

Perhaps it lay on the other side of the bed? On the floor? He wondered.

But more than that, he shook his head that his new reality was going to be one in which he actually had… _as a guest_ Morathi…

Holding his stomach he walked down his hall, creeping as silently as he could.

His mind racing as he realised, last night was real…

_It was… fucking real_

Gulping and looking towards one of his bookshelves laden with movies and blu-ray disks of anime.

Maddened he stepped towards the shelf, as one of the box set shows beckoned him.

Reaching up and pulling the blue plastic case out he took hold of and studied the cover of the show;

‘ _Daily life with Monster Girls’_

The technicoloured cast stared back at him with their wide eyes and bright smiles, almost encouragingly.

Drawing a deep breath he nodded.

‘Okay… not like anything of that calibre is going to happen’ he thought, ‘but I can at least _try_ not to be a pussy…’

He nodded and exhaled heavily, clutching at his chest with one hand while returning the disk-case back to the shelf.

‘Maybe…’

Looking over his shoulder at his counter top he eyed his mug and empty pot.

“Okay… If I’m going to survive this, more coffee is in order I think.”

Stepping into his kitchenette Eric furrowed his brow and did his best to try and move forwards calmly.

Opening his fridge and cupboards he looked at what all he had for ‘food’, and he cringed.

It wasn’t looking good…

“Fuck I really need to do groceries…”

Grabbing two Styrofoam cups he grunted uneasily.

“Not like I’ve not done this before… whew… Okay! Gourmet top ramen on the stove,” he sniggered.

‘It’ll be all good Eric… just you know… don’t be stupid.’ He nodded at his advice and drew a breath.

Pulling out a cook-pot and grabbing a third Styrofoam cup from his top cupboard he opened the three cups of noodles and started filling the pot with water from the tap.

Turning on his stove and placing the sloshing container over the largest element he nodded.

‘Weeb special incoming Morathi…’ he chuckled and shook his head at himself.

When the water was boiled he threw in the noodles and spice packs, and grabbed some eggs from his fridge.

Looking at the printed date on the package he raised a brow, ‘they’re still good… right?

Looking into his utensil drawer Eric pursed his lips and ‘hmm-ed’ aloud. ‘No chopsticks… only forks… _The Sacrilege!_ ’ he smiled at himself and shook his head.

“Oh god, like she could use them if I had any…”

The comical sight of Morathi attempting to use the thin utensils made him snigger involuntarily.

As his ramen cooked he looked at his phone.

‘About enough time now I think.’

Turning the temperature of the stove down to ‘simmer’ he drew a deep breath and steeled himself, “Well… Let’s go wake up the queen of Ghrond…”

…

Knocking on his own bedroom door he raised his voice as he tried to rouse his guest, “Morathi? It’s the afternoon. Are you, heh, finished meditating?”

At first there was nothing.

Then he opened the door wider and raised a brow.

“Morathi?” he asked, somewhat concerned.

Stepping quietly into the room he peered around the edge of his bed to satisfy his own curiosity.

He was somewhat relieved to see her crown lying on the floor near the bed. ‘At least she doesn’t sleep in the thing imagine it poking holes in my-‘

His thoughts stopped.

Resting just in front of her huge headdress crown, he saw her armour.

Well, her _armour-kini_ …

On the floor.

Her boob-covers, her skirt, her pauldrons, all of it…

Was neatly lying in pieces, _on the floor_

His eyes widened and he felt his breath catch in his mouth.

_‘Holy fuck does that mean what I THINK IT MEANS?!’_

She finally made noise, and grumbled.

Stepping backwards into the doorway Eric’s eyes darted towards his bed and he saw the large lumps in the middle of it move.

A hand moved out of the bed and made a throwing action towards him.

He furrowed his brow as a dark shape the size of a golf ball suddenly came flying at him from her palm.

With a yelp Eric dropped down and dodged the magic missile which seared a small dark mark across his previously unmarred and clean door.

“Morathi?! What gives?” he asked, flustered.

She moved her head and became visible from amidst the sheets.

“Where am I?”

Eric scoffed in surprise, “You’re in _my_ bed.”

She furrowed her brow at the words and her groggy face livened.

‘Uh oh…’ he thought.

“I didn’t mean it like that! I mean y-you slept here and I slept out there… it’s just this is… aw fuck it…”

He cringed heavily and shook his head. “I… I made food if you’re hungry… j-just…” he groaned and shuddered as he averted his eyes and walked back down the hall.

He raised his voice trying to be at once conciliatory and hosting; “I’ll be out here and get you a bowl ready.”

…

The human stepped out of the chamber and out of view, leaving Morathi to ponder aloud, “A bowl?”

She hadn’t heard almost any of what he said…

And to be completely honest she had forgotten why, where, and what had happened.

In her mind, as she awoke, she thought that she’d drunk too much the previous night.

But as her eyes adjusted and life began to return to her limbs she blinked and looked around the foreign room.

The strange walls, the weird feeling cloth… _The smell…_

It all came back and she held her hand to her forehead as she groaned.

‘Gods damn you Malekith….’ She thought.

‘Why in all the dark crevices of your mind did you think to do this?’

She drew a deep breath and pushed the sheets from her body as she sat up and brought her legs over the side of the bed.

Morathi shuddered and shook her hair as she ran her fingers through her long dark hair.

‘I…’ her throat choked up and she let out a private whimper in total disbelief.

“I can’t remember…”

‘Was it a joke I made? I… a plot he discovered?’ she furrowed her brow and then raised one as she tried to remember, well… anything but nothing other than the sickening feeling of magical transportation came to her.

Even the thought of the sheer magnitude of the ritual made her feel ill.

She didn’t want to reveal anything to the hapless human she’d been misfortunate enough to be imprisoned with. But…

She felt far weaker than she would ever let on.

The ritual which must have sent her here made it so that she was able only to conjure the minutest of spells.

‘For how many days shall I persist?’ she wondered.

She growled and stood up.

“Damn him… Damn Malekith for this treachery! I…” she looked at her hands in disbelief.

‘I’m his mother… his blood…’

She paused and looked towards the small apartment window, towards the neighbouring building complex.

It’s foreign brickwork and strange colours gave her pause.

“Perhaps something else, then?”

Morathi pursed her lips, a mix of feelings going through her heart; betrayal, confusion, and –

Her abdomen grumbled and her eyes widened.

Looking down her nude body towards her noisy stomach she let out a grumble, ‘Maybe this peasant isn’t completely useless…’

She looked towards the open door, a spiced scent wafted down the hall since his departure.

Its odour had been made suddenly more enticing by her stomach’s loud ululation.

“I suppose I am doomed for the time being…”

Morathi tightened her right hand and incanted in a whisper as she pointed at the black mark she’d scored on the door earlier.

Faint blue and purple tendrils of flame licked about a foot away from her hand, so weakly they couldn’t cook a fly!

She snarled at the indignity but strode forwards with the confidence that only an elven queen could possess.

Shirtless…

Shoeless…

And also, _crownless_

…

Eric poured some of the broth into one of his clean bowls as he heard the slapping of his guest’s bare feet down his hallway.

“Morning sleepy head…” he chuckled, nervously as he focused on not spilling anything.

Using a ladle he began filling ‘her’ bowl with noodles.

‘Ugh… too much confidence Eric… reel it back jackass.’ He noiselessly agreed with himself and exhaled through his teeth.

“I didn’t really have a whole lot to uh, _do_ anything with but hopefully this’ll be enough for you.”

Her footsteps had stopped at the edge of the island behind him and he returned the ladle to the pot before picking up the bowls and turning around.

His eyes widened so far his eyeballs could have fallen out.

Morathi stood, at the edge of his kitchen

_In_

_The_

_Fucking_

_Nude_

Despite trying to give himself a mental pep talk in her absence, despite trying to steel himself, and act, for once in his life, grown up and mature, seeing a six foot tall, completely naked, elf woman made Eric stop altogether.

The air escaped his lungs and his face immediately burned bright red in embarrassed surprise as he exclaimed;

“G-gah-haa _ahhhhh!_ ”

…


	5. Chapter 5

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Five: Power up!

“Oh come now Eric, don’t think I don’t know.”

He exhaled dryly and laughed nervously, doing his best to avert his eyes and look towards the side of the room.

“W-w-what? Kn-know what?”

“You’re a licentious little creature. I can _smell_ it off you.”

He let out a breathy mumble, “Yeah well… t-that’s nice…”

Putting her bowl on the island counter her shut his eyes and turned around as she sat.

‘Her faction’s called _The Cult of Pleasure!_ Of course she’s going to be an f-ing deviant!’ he hastily thought.

She chuckled lowly to herself, but once he heard her no longer moving he tentatively opened his eyes.

Gulping and doing everything he could to look only at her face.

Her pale bare chest remained in the bottom of his vision, beckoning him to glance down and ogle.

But he stared into her intense and blinking green eyes, determined.

‘This is my house…’ he tried to tell himself.

She smirked almost knowingly as they set into a staring contest of sorts.

His eyes accidentally darted downwards and his face reddened in embarrassment that his subconscious so blatantly over rode him.

Her smile grew at his expression and he shook his head while bringing up a hand to visually cover her chest.

“M-Morathi… really? Can’t you…”

She interrupted with a gloating laugh as she picked up the fork Eric had laid on the counter for her. Slowly she began moving the utensil with a disinterested grace, like she was in control of the situation; as if she’d done this a hundred times before.

But once she finally looked down at the weeb-tastic meal her smile faded.

“Y-you…” she began shallowly, “This is soup you fool, why have you given me this?”

She held up the fork and turned it in her hand petulantly.

Focusing on his own breakfast Eric stopped from nervously laughing as he answered lowly, “Well actually it’s ramen, but…”

She looked up and narrowed her eyes. Before she said something caustic however he quickly continued,

“You’re really supposed to eat it with chop sticks but a fork will work just as fine. See?”

He began dipping his utensil into his own bowl, bringing out a mass of noodles and chunks of egg.

“It’s instant stuff, but I added a little more _flare_ to it.” He sniggered, ‘At least as much as a dumbass like me _could_ add flare to fuckin instant ramen.’

The ravenous Morathi sat for a beat before tentatively following Eric’s example. Dipping her fork into the broth she swirled it around, cocking an eyebrow at the totally foreign dish.

Bringing the utensil to the surface, it’s tongs had coiled a small mass of noodle and egg.

Raising it from the bowl she looked towards her host, as Eric deliberately tried not looking at her.

She began eating reservedly; doing her best to masque how hungry she was feeling.

While Eric did everything he could not to ogle his ‘guest’.

…

It was one of the strangest and semi-stressful meals the young man had ever endured.

But over the brief meal he dared to try and chat with her.

She seemed far more social _in the nude,_ and in a strange way, far less pretentious.

Yet it remained that her naked body was exposed to the air of the apartment, and to Eric’s evil little eyes.

Her skin was so… _smooth_. And it looked as soft and as inviting as anything he’d ever seen before…

Her breasts too… even her toned and trim abdomen was absolutely exuding sexual dominance. Her beauty marks were so… _c-cute?_

Eric was being tortured by her. And the sorceress knew it.

Nearly smashing his bowl into his sink Eric furrowed his brow and focused madly on cleaning the dishes.

“O-okay Morathi… please you’ve got to tell me, what is it you plan to do while here?”

He shook his head as she rose from her seat, “I mean, I’m totally fine with well, am I totally fine?”

He stopped and looked up.

Thinking aloud he met her eyebrow cocked gaze, “What if I’ve actually finally snapped? And like… I’m having psychosis?”

He turned off the tap and stood looking back at his guest, now letting his eyes wander down the length of her body liberally.

Morathi smirked at his boldness.

He continued to think aloud, “Living alone, the stress and anxiety having finally gotten to me? I _literally snapped!_ ”

His voice rose and she tilted her head as she listened to him, bemused.

He smiled to himself, and pointed across the room towards his reconstituted desk and computer, “Look! I mean… nothing’s broken! I… I must have imagined it all!”

He laughed nervously, “Same with why you’re here and naked! I… It’s like a subconscious insane fantasy that I’m now experiencing! You’re literally a _dream girl Tulpa!_ ”

Eric shook his head from side to side… “does that mean?”

“H-hey Morathi?”

She leaned her head back, regarding her host, once again, with incredulity.

“If…” he paused.

Exhaling heavily he agreed, “It’s really the only possibility! I lost my mind, which means… D-do I dare?”

While his rambling was entertaining at first now he was grating on her, “Eric? Speak sense and cease your mumbling.”

Pursing his lips and meeting Morathi’s eyes he nodded, his hands shivering as he spoke, “If you’re a manifestation of my imagination, then that means… you do what I think!”

He looked down licentiously, “That’s why-”

Laughing nervously he continued, “That’s why you’re naked!”

He pursed his lips, seemingly confident in his theory.

Morathi on the other hand merely watched her host’s stupefied expressions, doing her best to maintain a neutral expression and hide her resumed entertainment.

That was until…

Exuding delusional command Eric cleared his throat, and looked into her eyes before stating, with forced calmness,

“Morathi, I want you,” he shuddered as he finished, “to kiss me!”

Her eyes widened.

And she stood still for a moment.

Eric’s face moved a little, nervously.

But then…

Her expression changed.

Her features softened into an expression he’d only ever seen in porn.

She let out a breathy sigh, and cooed his name “Oh Eric…”

Stepping forwards she raised her hands and walked into the kitchenette,

“Wait! It worked!?” he cried in disbelief.

She smiled and her expression became somewhat aroused as she brought her arms up for an embrace.

The whole time she closed the distance between them Eric looked from her beautiful face to her flawless skin and exposed breasts.

He didn’t dare look below her Adonis belt or waist yet… ‘That’ll be later!’ he thought dirtily.

She wrapped her arms around him and looked down with a smile as she placed one hand on the middle of his back and ran the other through his hair at the back of his head.

He gulped and watched nervously, becoming more and more excited as he got to experience the fantasy first hand!

Taking a firm hold of his head Morathi made a quiet moan as she shut her eyes, opened her mouth and angled her head down towards him.

Everything was telling him that she was literally totally going to fucking kiss him!

_Until_

Pulling his hair and head backwards with a yank she opened her eyes and bore her teeth as her expression narrowed and her voice came out.

“You bloody _imbecile!_ ”

Like a splash of ice water Eric proceeded to deflate faster than a popped balloon.

Bringing his hand to the back of his head he let out “OW!” in a loud, dull yell.

Withdrawing her left hand from his back and keeping her right hand moored firmly in his hair she snarled.

“How dare you even entertain the idea that _I, Morathi,_ am subject to anything but my own will!”

Letting go of his head with a throw she pointed a long, gruesome fingernail, at him.

“Never forget this! _I_ am the Hag Sorceress. And you?”

She leant her head back as she stepped out of the kitchen. “A witless peasant…”

Eric’s face was beet red as she turned around and gave him a wonderful view of her ass…

Shutting his eyes tightly he cringed so hard he felt like his organs would become diamonds.

“Okay! Sorry just, could you just put on clothes _please!_ ”

She turned her head around and shot him a look, “I bare myself how I please.”

He shook his head, “Yeah well this is my house! And if you want my help to navigate this place and get back home, you’re going to have to give tits for tat.”

As soon as he realised his slip he corrected himself, “I mean tit for tat!”

She furrowed her brow.

“Quid pro quo? I help you, you help me?”

She raised an eyebrow while pursing her lips and cocking her jaw.

“Oh goddamn it, I can’t believe I’m doing this…” speed walking back towards his bedroom he made for his dresser.

Her bare feet noisily stepped after him until she stood in the bedroom doorway watching as the human hastily dug through his drawers.

“I swear, I’ll help you in anyway so long as you p-put some damn clothes on!”

She smirked.

“You dare disgrace me in such a way?”

Eric opened his mouth and paused, turning his head with his brow furrowed, “Are you serious?”

She cocked her head back and spoke, “Well I mean you avow that you knew who I was, and yet here I am, in my glorious unmolested form. Uncovered and revealed to the light as simply as I am.”

Though her tone was sing song and strange the human sort of understood what she was getting at.

Short of calling him gay, she was basically saying ‘what’s wrong with you’.

Shutting his eyes, Eric nearly shivered as he tried to recompose himself, “Okay… look, I know you’re like… y-you.”

He opened his eyes and steely drew his gaze to her face, “But please… could you just. I won’t be able to think or look anywhere else otherwise…”

He held a shirt up peaceably.

She raised a brow and her face contorted biliously.

“I have clothes of my own.” She snarled.

“What the armour-kini?” he asked with a nervous laugh.

Shaking his head from side to side he spoke, “Yeah no, unless we’re in the vicinity of a cosplay convention that’s going to draw a _huge_ amount of attention…”

She stood, rebuffed, crossing her arms across her breast, considering and looking her host over.

Eric averted his eyes again, but continued to hold the t shirt up.

“Please, just humour me…”

Whipping her hand forwards she grabbed the shirt with a grumble.

“What else do you _insist_ I wear? If I am to travel here hidden then I suppose I…”

Her tongue stopped, it was almost physically impossible for her to sound more humiliated, but she somehow accomplished it, her voice rose sardonically, “I ought to _bow_ to the wisdom of my host.”

Eric closed his shirt drawer and opened one for pants.

“Uh… well… okay.”

Turning from his wardrobe he looked at Morathi.

The Druchii had brought his shirt over top of her head and pushed her arms through the holes, she was bringing her head and huge mass of hair through the diminutive collar, grumbling all the way.

Under her breath she complained but finally her head came through, flicking her long dark locks from out of the garment to run down her back.

He would have laughed; he had grabbed the shirt at random, and he was hoping that it was going to be large enough for her.

It was a shirt he’d gotten at H&T but thankfully not one so tight that it was going to rip as soon as she moved.

It cut under her arms, but as she rolled her shoulders and breathed, it appeared to move and fit her okay, if not just a little snug across her breast.

Not like he could lend her bra… But at the same time ogling her in clothes was somehow easier to do and mentally justify.

The front of the shirt was a graphic of a big mug of beer with the phrase ‘Power Up!’ emblazoned above the frothy cartoon glass. The o in power was a shamrock.

Eric didn’t really do anything for Saint Patrick’s Day, nor was he Irish, but he saw the shirt one day, thought ‘Maybe one of my grandmother’s is?’ and grabbed it for five dollars.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Eric began, “Did you want some underwear?”

Thinking about her naked crotch just about his eye level made him immediately shut his eyes and focused, trying to become a Tibetan monk, if only for a moment.

“If you’ve made this part and parcel to your aid, I haven’t the means to refuse.”

Her voice was impotent and petulant. She extended her long clawed hand, “So just hand me the damned garments!”

Eric held back a laugh as he handed her a pair of boxers, “Okay, okay, ha.”

…

Stepping back into his apartment’s main room Morathi followed, pulling at the awkwardly fitting pants.

They were in no way a good fit for her, but visually Eric honestly couldn’t tell a difference between Morathi wearing pants too small for her and the average woman. ‘So… she’ll be in the clear!’ he thought happily.

“Okay, so…” the human huffed, “I’ll boot up my computer and-“

Morathi spoke, her voice somewhat uneven, “No, you shall take me out of this hovel and show me your world.”

Eric turned around his face confused.

‘This dull _idiot?!_ He… he dares to, insult me! By…’ she looked at her hand, ‘Gods… I’ve not lost my beauty?’

The human was mumbling something, when the Druchii interrupted him again, “Mirror! Where’s a mirror?”

He furrowed his brow in surprise at the urgency in her voice, “Down that way, in the bathroom.”

She turned on her heels and sped towards the door he’d indicated in the small hallway.

Nearly ripping it open she stepped into the small dark room.

“There’s a light switch on the side.” He called.

Searching across the wall she found the small magical lever that he’d shown her before.

The room became illuminated in the human’s sorceress daylight and she saw her face reflected back to her in the clear silver of the glass above a porcelain washbasin.

She looked the same as she recalled she always had…

No wrinkles… no blemishes… nothing to betray her millennia’s of life.

At first she was relieved, but then she let out a breath of confused nervousness, as she thought, ‘yet how is it this weak… human, _male!_ Is able to resist me? He… he looked at me and was,’

She shuddered almost in embarrassment, ‘He looked almost reviled!’

Looking down at her now clothed body, she brought her hands to her breasts and felt them through the cloth briefly.

Then she felt down the sides of her abdomen to her curved hips.

“Am I that weak?” she shook her head, “Truly what’s become of my magic?” she whispered aloud.

She stopped a moment and looked up at herself with strange disbelief.

Snarling she brought her right hand up and focused herself mentally.

Feeling her body tense and every fibre in her mind twist and swirl she mentally incanted and focused on her palm.

“Come to me…” she whispered, “Where ever you may be! I call to you _Heartrender!_ ”

Bluish sparks began to ignite and sprout from her hand.

She doubled her efforts and pushed harder, digging the nails of her left hand into her palm as she forced it.

Eric peeked his head around the edge of the doorway, quietly.

Baring her teeth Morathi shot a death stare at her right hand, “Come on… _come on!”_

The weight of her weapon began to manifest in her hand and her eyes widened happily.

“Yes!”

Like an apparition of smoke the halberd began to take form. The shaft in her hand was more ‘real’ than the length of it but she happily wrapped her fingers around the weapon.

“Heartrender!” she cried in triumph.

With the sound of a small fire and explosion the weapon finally manifested itself.

But…

The bathroom was the smallest room in Eric’s apartment, and Heartrender was a _long_ weapon.

With a crash and a dull yank Morathi felt drywall dust and crumbly pieces fall on her head.

The bladed tip and top length of the weapon ‘spawned’ and clipped into the roof.

Morathi’s smile at her magical success immediately left once she realised she couldn’t dislodge the weapon from where it had manifested.

Looking down she saw that the bottom was also lodged in the tile floor, sending spidery cracks throughout the grout and stone-work.

Letting go of the weapon she looked away dejectedly, and far more embarrassed than she normally would have felt.

Eric brought a hand to his mouth at the appearance of the halberd and the noise of its spawning, quietly exclaiming, “M-Morathi… what the fuck?”

She furrowed her brow, not wanting to acknowledge her arm felt pained from the exercise of magic and that she physically couldn’t move her own weapon.

Turning to face her host she did her best to ignore the seven foot long spear standing on its own in the centre of the small room.

“Silence Eric…” she cleared her throat, “as I said… it’s your world and, y-you shall guide me.”

Brushing past him she walked down the hallway towards the apartment’s door.

“Yeah…” he let out, “But… you kind of ruined my bathroom!”

He shook his head and followed after her, letting out a heavy breath.

Pointing to her still bare feet he asked, “Did you want shoes?”

“If they’re yours I dare say they’ll be as comfortable as these clothes you’re forcing me to wear.”

Eric laughed wearily, “Fair enough… Uh well, I may have some sandals that you could borrow.”

Opening the small closet opposite his apartment’s door he began searching around the bottom for whatever _‘sandals’_ were.

Feeling the tight jean material of her pants digging into her flesh Morathi couldn’t help but feel she was still being punished.

But as she thought, harder and harder, she couldn’t quite come up with why. Or what had happened before she had awoken…

She shook her head.

‘There are many ways to jog mine memories…’ she thought reassuringly, ‘if I am to remain hidden… then I suppose the indignity of these alien raiment can be borne just a while longer…’

“Here! Found them!” Eric announced in strange triumph.

Putting the leather footwear to the ground in front of her he motioned that she could wear them.

“Should be large enough for you. I hope…”

She began putting her lacquer covered toes into the thong of the sandals and eyed him with barely contained disgust.

‘Gods! Is he going to be this… _pure?_ The whole time! It sickens me! His stupidity, his naivety! Gah!’

Looking away from her strange expression Eric began stuttering, “Okay so uh… I don’t really know what I should show you first… so uh, we’ll just take it by ‘ear.”

As he stood up he looked at her with a smile, “oh shit… of course… ears!”

She furrowed her brow, “What now Eric?”

He pointed to her head, “You’ve got… y-you know. _Elf ears_.”

“Gods below boy! How much more clandestine and inconspicuous must I make myself appear?”

“Well… hang on…” he said as he thought.

Rubbing the back of his head he begrudgingly spoke, “Would you be willing to wear a hat?”

Narrowing her eyes at the human he cringed and broke. “Okay… uh well, maybe your ton of hair could cover them… I don’t know…”

Letting a breath out of her nose Morathi began running her hands through her thick, matted, locks of hair and ‘combing’ it forwards to cover the long high-tipped cartilage of her elven ears.

“It’s just I want to mitigate as much negative or, just attention, in general that you might… uh… you know, draw.”

“They don’t take kindly to elves here? Is it a standing decree from your far off Queen?”

Eric held back a snigger and did his best to keep a straight face.

Pursing his lips and taking up his car keys he opened the door.

Turning to her and inviting her outside the apartment he finally responded, “Yes.”

‘Hmm…’ Morathi thought, ‘So we will have to keep ourselves secret… _Especially if they know of my people!_ ’

She nodded as Eric locked his apartment door and looked down the hallway nervously.

‘If this country is dominated by humans than it stands to reason that they’d certainly make an example of capturing someone as _powerful_ as I!’

Continuing to plot and fill in blanks for herself Morathi followed behind Eric as he led her down the narrow hallway, periodically checking for any others who might spot them.

…


	6. Chapter 6

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Six: A car ride and a chat

“Okay so Morathi, this is an elevator” Eric announced as the doors opened.

She raised a brow quietly as the doors opened, whispering to herself, ‘Magic…’

Stepping through the opening silver doors, Eric entered into the small lift and beckoned the tall elf to follow him.

She tugged adjusted the edge of the shirt tightly crossing her chest and reluctantly strode into the chamber after her ‘guide’.

Pointing towards the console in the wall of the lift Eric continued, “So we press these buttons and with any luck we’ll make it to the parking garage without running into anyone else.”

He sighed nervously before looking back up at his companion.

Morathi nodded and raised her top lip in restrained disgust at having to ‘hide’ herself and follow this human so inconspicuously. But there weren’t any other options at the moment.

Pressing the ‘G’ button the doors closed and the lift whirred.

At first Morathi widened her eyes and looked upwards at the small box’s ceiling, where the engine noise came from. But then as the ‘room’ moved she instantly felt reviled, with a ocean-like nausea.

Throwing her hands out to either side she steadied herself and was blinking as she attempted to understand what was happening.

Eric stifled a snigger and was about to explain the mechanics of how it all worked when one of the floor lights below where they were lit up.

“Oh no…” he mumbled.

Morathi furrowed her brow and looked at the human, before following his gaze.

“What is it Eric?”

Quietly he answered, almost in disbelief, “Someone else is going to be coming on…”

Bending her legs at the knees she then narrowed her eyes towards the doors.

He began breathing heavily as he thought, ‘ _Shit shit shit! Fuck!’_

Turning to her he spoke again, “Okay Morathi? Please, _please!_ Don’t do, or say anything weird! Just…” he waved her over to his side.

“Just stand here with me and act normal, okay? I mean…” he cringed, “Not normal for you, but. Gah! Just follow my lead and don’t be weird!”

The Druchii witch was about to open her mouth and retort when an automated voice spoke; _“Third floor.”_

Pleadingly Eric looked at his companion and whispered, “ _Please!_ ” stealing her attention Morathi closed her mouth and started looking from the doors to human and then back. Until, quickly, the she-elf had made her decision.

…

The doors chimed open and Eric tightened his fingers and curled his hands into balls. His right arm was pressed against Morathi; thankfully she had complied with his plea and was now pressed closely against him to the right side of the elevator.

When the doors opened a young woman with a stroller appeared.

“Now can you move ahead for mom and press the button?” she said cheerfully to one of her young children.

Eric was cringing but trying his hardest to keep a straight face.

Out of the corner of his eye he watched Morathi.

His thoughts screaming; ‘This is a bad idea, _this is a bad idea!_ ’ over and over.

Seeing Eric the woman nodded with familiarity. They’d seen one another multiple times before, she and her husband were recent move-ins to the building, a young family… two kids, really wholesome. All that stuff.

And as she drove her stroller into the small elevator and Eric saw her eldest child happily run ahead to click on the elevator buttons, he couldn’t help but feel a strange wave of fear.

Beside him Morathi only watched on in silence.

The woman stood beside her stroller and smiled at her eldest, the two were making faces at each other and giggling.

Eric risked a more direct look at his companion and saw that the Hag Sorceress had furrowed her brow and tilted her head as she watched mother and child play.

When the elevator finally dinged open the woman wheeled out with her tyke in tow smiling and nodding her head to Eric.

The young kid turned round as he followed his mom and waved to Eric as the doors shut.

Sniggering to himself the young man shook his head and looked down, before Morathi’s voice snapped him back to focus.

“They know you?” she asked.

Looking to his side as the elevator headed down to the parking garage he responded, “Yeah, kind of. We’re in the same building, and I saw them when they moved in… So I wave and try to be friendly whenever I can.”

He chuckled, “But like, elevators are _super_ awkward spaces so… people really don’t like talking in them.”

She nodded and said lowly, “Indeed…”

…

Thankfully the elevator ride was not as stressful as Eric feared it could have been.

When the doors dinged open again they had reached their destination and the parking garage greeted them.

Stepping through the portal Eric furrowed his brow and looked to his companion as she followed.

“Okay so… heh,” he rubbed his neck nervously, “Where was it we were going again?”

Morathi looked around with her intense eyes scrutinising every piece of the strange alien world she was in.

Sniffing through her nostrils she looked back down at Eric, asking, “Did the Dawi build this? We’re underground aren’t we?”

The young man chuckled and started towards his car down the line of parked vehicles.

“No, men built this… Though there may have been a dwarf on the crew, I don’t know…” he sniggered privately.

Nodding he came towards the back of his car, “But you’re right, we are underground.”

She nodded and narrowed her brow as she searched around the garage.

“But anyway, what is it you’d like to see first?”

Clicking his key and unlocking his sedan he turned and watched as Morathi pouted her lips.

“This tower, first… you shall show me the exterior of this place, and the surface.”

She nodded.

“Okay then, well, I suppose I ought to explain what a car is huh?”

She looked to their side at the back end of Eric’s car and raised an eyebrow.

“Is that what this is then?”

He nodded.

She repeated quietly, “Car… hmph”

…

It was more difficult than Eric thought it was going to be to convey what an _automobile_ was… Especially since trying to explain what and how a combustion engine was made Morathi continue to ask more and more questions.

But eventually he was able to coax her to the passenger side.

Opening the door for her the Hag Sorceress of Ghrond became the first Druchii to sit in a twenty fourteen Honda Civic.

Eric watched her try to sit down with his mouth tightly pursed as he tried not to laugh.

Once she was safely in he walked around and got in himself.

Putting the key into the ignition he turned and made the vehicle come rumbling to life.

“Gah!” she exclaimed in surprise.

Eric chuckled and began backing up.

In a few seconds they’d driven out of the parking garage’s entrance and up the slight ramp into the sunlight.

Morathi’s eyes were wide as she looked around at everything.

Pulling to the side of the apartment complex’s outdoor parking Eric put the car into park and pulled his handbrake.

“There, we can leave it idling while we walk around the grounds. If you’d like?”

Morathi whipped her head around to look at Eric, her hair nearly snapped in the air she turned so fast.

She didn’t say anything but her expression was… actually kind of cute.

‘She just seems so unsure!’ he thought.

“Well I… I suppose…”

Motioning to the door handle Eric watched as she slowly brought her long nailed hand to wrap around the silver metal.

Pulling it and pushing the door away Morathi rose out of the car and Eric followed suit.

Turning around she looked up at his apartment building.

“It’s far smaller than I thought…” she said lowly, she sounded haughty, as if she were trying to cover for her overall off-footedness so far.

“Yeah…” he agreed.

“So that’s where I live…”

She nodded and slowly brought her head down to look around the ‘grounds’.

There was the parking lot they were in now, and then to their right was the street and a sidewalk. To their left were grassy little hills and several tall trees.

Nestled in between all the apartment buildings were walking paths, trees, benches, and park fixtures.

This greenery seemed to catch Morathi’s attention and she slowly walked from where she was to the edge of the asphalt parking lot.

Mounting the concrete curb she reached down with her fingers to touch the blades of grass and soil underneath them.

She studied her fingers intensely… she’d gotten some dirt on her skin and brought it to her nose.

Taking a deep breath she shook her head and turned back around.

Her expression seemed almost disappointed.

“You okay Morathi?” Eric asked.

She blinked and stepped back towards the car. Having ignored his words she just slowly stepped back to the grey car and Eric got back in.

“Okay, well, I’ve got a full…“ checking his gauge he corrected, “ a three quarters full, tank of gas, so…”

He chuckled.

“Where’d you want to go?”

Shifting in her seat she continued to furrow her brow and quietly look forwards out the windshield.

Bringing her left hand up she waved it ahead lazily.

“I must think… just… anywhere…”

Eric nodded somewhat uneasily.

“Okay then…”

Slowly accelerating out of the parking lot Eric brought the nose of his car to the street. Waiting for a few people to pass in front of him he checked the low traffic and timed his merging onto the road.

The whole time Morathi was looking from side to side, as if she was a spectator to an aggressive tennis game.

Coming onto the street Eric chuckled to himself and moved his right hand from the wheel to the display of his aftermarket stereo.

“So, Morathi?”

She was looking out her window at the cars beside them and merely grunted in response.

Eric sniggered, “Do you like music?”

She turned with a furrowed brow, “Don’t be daft human! I do not wish to be taken to a peasant’s concert! I may be from home but you forget I am a _queen!_ ”

Eric bit his lip to keep from laughing, “Hey, hey I forget nothing; it’s just a simple question.”

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously before reluctantly answering, “Yes… of course I like music. The ululating chants of adherents… the wailing symphonies of ill-fated offerings…”

She chuckled to herself dryly and nodded.

Raising a brow and turning left at some traffic lights Eric nodded sarcastically, “Right… well uh, I don’t exactly have that on hand, but I do have some Iron Maiden.”

He sniggered again, “Given your get-up and Druchii culture I’m sure you’ll appreciate a little classic metal.”

She opened her mouth and was about to say something when he pressed his finger to the radio console’s interface and the speakers roared out with the opening guitar riffs and drums.

Her eyes widened and she stared to the console as he turned the volume dial up.

Quickly he then pressed down the buttons to open all his windows.

The cadence of the guitars were rumbling and galloping like horse hooves and Eric pressed his foot to the floor.

Morathi had thrown her hands to either side of the cabin for purchase as the car sped down the sparsely populated road, her hair was whipping from the wind now coming through the open window.

_But the music…_

Her eyes were wide and mouth open as she continued to look down at the radio and then back up through the glass as Eric brought them around another corner.

The galloping guitars were now accompanied by a voice… a disembodied voice!

It roared and sang loudly of… _Of battle!_

Her open mouth began to grow into a smile as Eric darted his eyes to see his passenger.

She was grinning happily as the solo began and she looked at her ‘guide’.

“So what do you think?” he asked.

Morathi merely cackled in response.

Coming towards a red light Eric began slowing down, looking at her he saw her chest was rising up and down rapidly.

“Ha, you okay there Morathi?”

She nodded and chuckled as she recomposed herself and moved around in her seat.

Reaching for the dial and turning it down a little the human grinned, “Pretty cool huh?”

She nodded again, “By the gods Eric! That was…” she chuckled in disbelief and pointed to the radio, “How does this work?!”

He nodded, “I’ll try to explain it for you.”

…

As they meandered around on the drive Eric went through a crash course in radio, MP3, and ripping audio from you tube for Morathi.

His mix went through four songs, each of which she either patted her hand in rhythm to, or tapped her foot.

It was funny to see someone as intimidating and as _odd_ as Morathi actually enjoying something that wasn’t… you know… Killing, maiming, or treacherous in nature.

At the end of his lecture Eric sighed and quickly interrupted the Druchii before she could ask more questions. He hoped to change the subject, because being the ‘master of all things Earth’ was begging to tire him…

“So what would you like to see right now?”

The Hag Sorceress nodded and looked ahead.

“The winds of magic are very weak upon this plain…”

Bringing a hand to her mouth she rubbed her lips.

“If I’m to regain my strength _fully_ enough to properly summon Heartrender, Sulaphet, and…” her voice quieted and trailed off as she mumbled, “control these witless humans…”

“I’ll need to visit an apothecary, a herbalist…” she nodded, “Much will be needed to turn the winds of magic.”

Eric nodded, “Uh, okay… well uh there’s not too much in the way of…”

‘Oh boy…’ he thought.

“Well Morathi there’s not a whole lot in this world or city in the way of magical supplies.”

She raised a brow, “What?” but before Eric could clarify she continued “Oh! Of course, your monarch’s decrees…”

She nodded and brought a knuckle to her lip, “We will have to be wary then…”

She smirked, “My my my, I could almost thank Malekith for this exile!”

Morathi chuckled, “It’s been a while since I’ve had this much fun without strings or plots attached to it.”

Leaning back in her seat she closed her eyes, “Reminds me of a _very_ long time ago…” she sniggered, “Having to be in secret… out of sight of the ruling powers…”

“Well… what all would you need?” Eric asked.

“Black thorn, virgin blood… Hmm,” she rubbed her chin, “Far too many things to innumerate here and now.”

She nodded.

Eric scoffed, “Blood? Yeah! That’s definitely going to be hard to get! Why don’t we take baby steps rather than immediately going for the blood magic?”

Morathi didn’t like being contradicted, “There are many walking the street _right now_ which I could use.”

Eric’s eyes widened at how serious she was.

“Woah! What?! N-No way!”

She furrowed her brow.

“I am _not_ murdering anyone, and I am not going to let you murder anyone either!”

Furrowing her brow she squinted at Eric as the two had their first _true_ clash of culture and values…

The car was quiet for several seconds as the human gulped and drove ahead.

“Are you volunteering then?”

Shaking his head Eric immediately protested, “Wha? NO! Totally not!”

His chest was rising uneasily as he became more nervous under the gaze of his companion.

The air and earlier moments of levity soured as he was reminded that she _was_ Morathi… How many had she killed personally? Or had killed?

“Look… if it’s a little pinprick of blood? Sure… I’ll volunteer, but… Morathi this place is d-different…”

“We don’t k-kill like that…”

He nodded, “Or world is changed and different now… and like… that’s just wrong…”

She snarled, “Sounds like the bleating weakness of sheep…”

Looking out the window her voice rose as she extended her hand into the air and made a tight fist, “The _strong_ take what they will!”

“I won’t do it Morathi!” Tightening his hands around the wheel, he shook his head adamantly, “I will not, and I won’t let you either!”

She looked at him and raised a brow.

The moments passed tensely before she finally chuckled.

“Oh Eric… you remind me of an insulated Asur prince…”

Extending her left hand to his cheek she pinched and gave him a playful slap.

Shrinking from her touch he gulped, “ _I’m serious_.”

Her smile and laugh faded as she narrowed her eyes at the human.

“It’s my price.”

She cocked her head back as she listened.

Coming to another red light Eric looked from the road and stared back at Morathi.

“I’ll help you… I’ll clothe you, feed you, house you… Everything until you get back home.”

He nodded, “But you will not hurt, or kill anyone during your stay here?”

He swallowed as he stared unblinkingly at the fantasy creature.

Her face was neutral as she studied him and listened.

The lights turned green but Eric continued to look back at his companion.

The people behind him began honking, but he remained adamant.

Letting out a breath and high pitched laugh Morathi’s face broke as she grinned and finally moved.

“Very well Eric…”

“You’ve far more of a will than I thought…”

He didn’t yet move and the people behind were beginning to just rail on their horns.

His voice was even but had a slight shake to it as he declared, “Until you agree, I will not move”

Looking behind them through the rear windshield Morathi saw the cars edged up behind them and let out a scoff.

Taking a deep breath she turned and looked back at the human.

“This is your price?”

He nodded, “It is…”

“And you will aid me, _in any way_?”

Though he knew he’d probably regret the wording of that phrase he nodded again, “Yes”

Exhaling and bowing her head at the neck the great Druchii Hag Sorceress of Ghrond laughed, “Then let it be so…”

Letting out a deep breath Eric turned back to the road and began driving again.

“Be well _Eric_ , you’re the first human to have gotten such a vow from me before.”

Nervously chuckling he nodded, “Yeah, let me tell you it’s been a day for firsts for me too…”

…


	7. Chapter 7

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Seven: Druchii’s secret

Slowing his car down and flicking his turn signal on Eric explained, “I’ve got to pull over here for a minute.”

Morathi was deep in thought and merely let out an ‘hmph’ in acknowledgment as Eric drove into the first available parking lot.

Letting out a weary breath as he parked and pulled up his hand break, Eric voiced aloud his worried thoughts, “So how are we going to get you home? Practically I mean…” shaking his head he added, “How can you even like… harness the winds of magic here?”

At this Morathi nodded, “Like I said before I will need elements of magic.”

Eric let out a groan before leaning forwards and resting his brow against the wheel.

“Many items of magical properties are going to be necessary. Especially if you wish me to perform this _bloodlessly_ …”

At this the human let out a grumble, reiterating his earlier stance, “ _I do!_ No one is getting hurt here Morathi…”

Nodding begrudgingly the sorceress let out a quiet hiss before staring out her window.

“Well… regardless I know not if any of the floras of my world even grow here.”

Leaning back in her seat and running a hand through her thick hair she adjusted her ill-fitting top.

“If you knew of a warlock or of a nearby coven,” she laughed, “I’m sure that’d expedite the process.”

Quiet entertained at her own jest the elf chuckled and closed her eyes, continuing to think.

Yet her words resounded within Eric’s mind and eventually he shot up straight.

Blinking he reached his hand into his pocket.

Taking hold of his phone he raised it from his jeans and looked at the black glass screen.

Under his breath he spoke aloud, “I wonder…”

Raising a brow and opening her eyes Morathi looked over to her companion, immediately curious.

“You wonder? What is it you wonder?”

Licking his lips and continuing to eye his phone Eric paused for a long, quiet, moment.

“I have a friend… Well actually an ex-co-worker.”

Pursing his lips the young man became conflicted as he thought, “He’s kind of… well, weird.”

Morathi furrowed her brow.

Swallowing Eric finally looked at her, “He and I chat every now and then via text, we even play a little bit on Steam sometimes… He’s in to fantasy stuff more than I am.”

Nodding he continued, “But he’s also like… into _weird stuff_.”

Morathi sat up in her seat and waved her hand, “Get to the point!”

Eric shut his eyes and nodded, “Okay sorry!” Quickening his words he continued, “I always thought, from the pentagram jewelry, makeup, and like… just general occult shit he was a total creepy dude privately.”

Morathi furrowed her brow and let a small smile grace her lips as she listened.

“He mentioned to me once before about magic and about like rituals. I thought he was just taking the piss but…”

Sighing heavily Eric looked over his elven guest.

“Before you appeared I didn’t think any of it was real… Maybe it’s been real this whole time?”

Morathi rubbed her lips with her index finger, “Do you wish to call upon this person?”

Eric scoffed and shook his head, “Do we even bother? I mean at the same time… It’s been ages since we’ve seen one another physically.”

Morathi blinked, “If he has indicated to you his forbidden knowledge then I say we immediately seek his aid. _Forcing_ his cooperation if necessary…”

Eric furrowed his brow, “Hey! Remember I said no killing and no blood!”

Morathi waved her hand again, “Oh Eric there are many _bloodless_ ways with which to press someone into service.”

Raising one of her beautiful eyebrows the elf smiled, “Now, what’s his name?”

“Francois… at work we all called him Frankie. I can’t remember his last name though.”

Opening his phone and scrolling through his contacts he found his former colleague and began tapping his fingers across the screen’s keys.

“Here’s hoping he’s willing to meet…”

Shaking his head after the _swoosh_ of the sent message Eric groaned and rubbed his brow, “Oh god this is a disaster… He’s going to think I’m crazy!”

Opening his eyes and looking at Morathi he extended his hand to touch her arm and she swiftly batted it away.

“What was that Eric?”

“Just… still trying to accept the fact that you’re real…”

Slapping his hand and punching his shoulder she punctuated her words, “Well I am! Now speed us to this mystic _friend_ of yours. Perhaps he has the answers I seek.”

“Hang on, hang on…” Eric protested, “I’m waiting for his text back.”

Eyeing his phone Eric bit his lip tensely until finally he received a reply.

Morathi, far keener and interested in modern technology than she wanted to let on, watched the human with a hidden excitement at the novelty of his miniature device.

“What was it you had said to him?”

Eric let out a breath and nodded, “I asked him if he was free today, and if he wanted to maybe catch up…”

Huffing he admitted, “I feel like I’ve lied to him, a bit…”

“Regardless, the deception may be assuaged… What was it he has said back?”

“He… well, ha, he’s actually agreed.”

Tapping away Eric began a back and forth conversation, ignoring Morathi as he focused on his screen.

The milf sorceress folded her arms as she steeped, though she knew he was doing something necessary it still made her rather displeased to be ignored in such a strange fashion.

“Okay, he’s actually nearly done his shift at work, and he said if we wanted we could drop by Rideau…”

Trailing off Eric continued, “Hang out… talk there…”

Furrowing her brow Morathi looked over her earthly guide, “Why your sudden turn?”

Looking at her elf ears protruding through her black locks of hair Eric cringed, “Rideau, as in _the Rideau Centre_ , is the largest mall in the city.”

Morathi looked back with a blank expression, the significance of the place and size of whatever a _mall_ was made her shrug her shoulders.

“And?” she asked sarcastically.

Blinking Eric felt amiss as to how to properly convey what this meant, “Imagine a market, like an indoor bazar?”

She nodded.

“Well that’s what a mall is, pretty much…” he shook his head, “It’s a big, huge building filled with stores, and people, and vendors and all sorts of stuff…”

Morathi let out a long breath of affirmation before responding, “I see.”

Without looking back at her Eric stared at his phone, quietly agreeing, “Yeah…”

Several quiet seconds passed until Morathi spoke again. Her voice was plain and even toned but there was a hint of indignity as she asked, “How might I cover my ears?”

…

Driving the short while it took to reach the mall the young man pulled his car into one of the attached parking garages and searched for a good spot while narrating the ins and outs of shopping in the twenty first century.

After finding a spot and turning off his engine Eric took off his seat belt and leant between the seats to reach into the back of the cabin.

Shuffling through the debris in his back seats Eric found a toque hat under wrappers and empty cans of cola.

It was a reference hat, naturally, and the loud anime graphic adorning its brim was the phrase _‘Pika, pika, chu!_ ’ with a small Pikachu sitting and winking on the folded brim line of the black wool hat.

At first Morathi groaned and protested, but eventually she gave in and pulled the loose fitting winter hat over her head. Instantly her hair became unwieldly and static-y and Eric physically bit his tongue to keep from laughing at the new appearance of the she-elf.

Sitting in the car Eric waited a few moments, steeling himself for walking around the mall… With _fucking_ Morathi.

Grumbling the sorceress spoke first, “Gah! I grow tired of sitting here!”

Snapping to Eric let out a shudder.

Opening her door and rising from out of the car the woman furrowed her brow and searched the nearly deserted parking garage.

She grumbled and spoke to herself quietly, “These clothes make me look like an _idiot_ …”

Exiting and locking the car with a beep Eric pointed to the nearest stairwell while sniggering at her comment.

“To get in the entrance is over there.”

Turning and spotting the red metal door to the stairs the Druchii nodded. Shutting her door she walked around the edge of the car and Eric waved her along, “Follow me.”

“There’s going to be a lot of people here Morathi so…”

“So what? Say nothing?”

Chuckling nervously Eric pursed his lips before eventually agreeing, “Yeah, actually. That’d probably be the best thing to do… now… If you get any _unwanted_ attention don’t blast them or do anything to let slip our cover, okay?”

Grumbling and swallowing her pride Morathi begrudgingly conceded.

“I will do as you say.”

Eric let out a heavy breath of relief and nodded as she came to his right side.

“But know that I shan’t be the least bit pleased with it!”

Smiling Eric chuckled, “No need to remind me Morathi…”

…

After making it through the stairwell and into one of the entrances to the mall Eric and Morathi began walking closely together as they made their way to where ‘Frankie’ told Eric he was working.

At first no one paid the odd couple any mind.

But as they continued along and got to the more populated thoroughfares of the mall’s shopping promenades Eric noticed that Morathi was receiving ample attention…

Men in suits on their lunch breaks from nearby high rise offices slowed and took double takes.

Younger guys gawked and slapped their friends to alert of Morathi’s approach and passing.

Girls with handfuls of bags, or women chatting in gaggles also took note of the Druchii…

Envious eyes looked over the she-elf from top to toes, disbelieving her ass-length hair, scrutinising the paleness of her skin, judging her lacquer covered nails, smoke-ringed eyes, and blackened lips.

To those seeing her she began to earn whispers of both praise and scorn. This came to a head as a few passing youths began looking at Eric with wide eyes throwing him thumbs up and yelling “Hot goth! Hot goth!”

Morathi raised a brow and cooled somewhat, she knew not what the words meant but the tone and attention she was receiving made her puff out and straighten with pride.

Eric drew a breath nervously.

‘Not only is this totally fucking weird… they… they think we’re together?!’

Looking to his side at the taller woman he saw a flash of her ivory teeth as she smiled and looked around eagerly, an almost simplistic and naïve excitement across her features as she peered into stores and eyed the shoppers and items on sale.

Pulling out his phone Eric saw that Frankie had sent him another message; ‘Meet in foodcrt in halfhour? Just tlkin wth boss.’

Smirking in disbelief Eric shook his head.

‘Why not see if she wants to… _shop?_ ’

Slowing down his pace and looking to his companion Eric cleared his throat before asking, “Hey Morathi?”

She was staring at a brightly lit ‘Dior’ perfume advertisement emblazoned on the wall.

Pointing to it she scrutinised the glass bottle pictured, and turned to Eric, “What is this? They advertise bottles of mana so plainly?!”

Furrowing his brow Eric answered seriously, “Uh, no it’s perfume… You know, scent?”

Morathi immediately shrunk, feeling like an idiot.

“Ah…” nearly tripping over her words she changed the subject, “W-what was it you were about to ask me?”

“Right, uh. Well Frankie is actually busy for a little while longer but, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go shopping for a bit?”

Shaking her head Morathi began walking forwards, “I care not, but I do enjoy the gawking of these lowly humans.”

Eric shook his head, “Ha, okay then… we can do a circuit of the floors and end at the food court.”

Raising a brow Eric tapped Morathi’s arm, “Just let me know if you’d like to step into a store okay?”

Looking at the human uneasily the she-elf ignored the gesture and grunted, clearing her throat, “I’m not a newborn… I know how commerce works!”

Pursing his lips and stifling a laugh Eric stepped alongside his ‘goth’ companion.

‘You know?’ he asked himself, ‘those kids were right… she really is a Goth, especially in this outfit.’

Stealing a one-over he chuckled when he saw the sandals, but despite those the black graphic tee, her dark makeup, black hair, pale skin, black toque, and tight dark jeans really hammered the gothic aesthetic home…

‘All she needs is some piercings and a cig hanging out of her lips and it’d be complete.’ Eric laughed privately.

…

The two walked along without incident, people continued to steal looks at Morathi then Eric in disbelief, but they continued along through the mall quietly chatting until finally… Morathi felt a distinctly feminine compulsion to _shop_ …

Passing the sex-dungeon looking den that was Victoria’s Secret the she-elf stopped in her tracks, instantly curious.

“Morathi?” Eric called when he noticed she’d come to a halt a few feet behind him.

Pointing and slowly stepping towards the open glass doors of the store the Druchii leader of _the Cult of Pleasure_ opened her mouth in excitement to see the massive banners of nearly-nude women advertising the many types, styles and colours of lingerie.

Eric’s eyes widened in embarrassment, “Oh god no…”

Turning to her human with a dumb grin across her lips Morathi announced, “Perhaps I’d like to buy something after all!”

A strange dread filled Eric as he let out a shallow voice crack, “Y-you do?”

Baring her teeth and extending her hand to her companion Morathi smirked sadistically.

“Oh yes!”

Tentatively putting his hand into the Druchii’s Eric was yanked along as the tall Goth strode confidently towards the entrance of the store.

A few of the patrons saw Eric being pulled along and red-faced and so they giggled or smiled to themselves knowingly as they continued to browse and shop, trying to be oblivious to the woman dragging her young-looking, _male,_ friend into the underwear store.

As soon as they entered into the store proper a sales associate was on the couple.

The tanned girl greeting them had tight, curly, blonde dyed hair in a ponytail and smiled as she bowed her head in acknowledgement, “Good afternoon! Can I help you find anything today?”

Morathi raised a brow and grinned from ear to ear before shooting a look at Eric.

Before Eric could find his voice the millennia-old elf took further control, much to his shock.

“Actually… Yes you may!”

The associate, excited that someone wasn’t just brushing her off, eagerly perked up and waited for her prospective customer to continue,

Eric bit his tongue and was doing his best not to let out his nervousness at the lack of control of the situation and his hope that Morathi wasn’t going to say anything _crazy…_

“I’m recently arrived to this country,” she said, in a strange tone of voice, “And wouldn’t you know it, I’m devoid of any _fitting_ garments!”

The associate furrowed her brow and shook her head emphatically, “Oh no that’s awful!”

Morathi nodded, gesturing with her free right hand in little circles and twirls as she talked, “Indeed! And being so… _new_ to this place I was hoping that you might find it in your heart to _assist_ me?”

Eric furrowed his brow as he watched the exchange, something was off with Morathi’s voice and something was definitely off with the way that the sales associate was responding.

But neither woman acknowledged this and the plucky employee casually nodded before she beckoned the odd pair to follow her deeper into the store.

“I _totally_ get what you mean! I mean like, that sucks!” Shaking her head the woman started with a story, “I mean like, a friend of mine Lizzy? She went on a trip to the Bahamas and they ‘accidentally’ sent her luggage to Cuba!”

Squinting comically she shrugged and threw her hands up as her voice rose in exacerbation, “I mean, how do you mix that up? They’re totally different places!”

Morathi looked to Eric briefly as she followed the employee, replying with one word, purposefully drawing out the syllables, “ _Scandalous_ …”

“Yeah! I know right? Heh, well! If you’re going to need _everything_ replaced we’ve certainly got a lot of variety to choose from!”

Putting her hand on her hip they stopped in front of a display of brassieres and the employee looked at Morathi’s chest clinically before asking, “Do you know your bra size?”

Cocking an eyebrow and feigning embarrassment the elf brought a hand to her mouth as she averted her eyes, tactfully concocting a sentence so as to not arouse suspicion, “Well… I, I don’t know what it would equate to here.”

Letting go of Eric’s hand Morathi blinked and eyed the young employee honestly, acting utterly lost and reliant on the female human’s aid.

Pulling a measuring tape from her pocket the employee shook her head, and pointed to the dressing rooms, “Not to worry! I can figure that out for you!”

Eric’s face was red-hot and he was certain his cheeks were showing it as he watched Morathi coyly walk along with the girl.

“Oh, how helpful…” Looking over her shoulder and cocking an eyebrow Morathi asked, “Isn’t she helpful Eric?”

Gulping dully and nodding wordlessly the male agreed.

“Just so you know we _are_ trained to do this properly. So don’t need to feel uncomfortable at all!” happily the employee added, “Can you believe that almost half of women actually wear the wrong size of bra?”

Smiling politely at Eric the associate began helping Morathi behind a curtain and the Druchii let out a giggle along with an unnecessary exclamation, “Oh your fingers are cold!”

Turning away from the change rooms Eric leant against the wall and scrolled on his phone aimlessly, doing everything he could to try and supress the shame and trespassing sensations he was feeling.

‘Holy shit… so she’s using magic right now, right? I mean… she’s got to be! People don’t actually act like this? I mean… Girls don’t act like this… d-do they?’

Blushing as hard as a pubescent and shaking his head Eric made sure not to make eye contact with anything or anyone other than his phone screen.

‘She’s doing this deliberately! Isn’t she?!’

Groaning and suppressing his discomfort a revelation dawned on him, ‘Wait… everyone here thinks that w-we’re like… together… I-I’m sure of it!’

He looked up and towards the entrance to the store, ‘W-what the hell am I going to tell Frankie?!’

…


	8. Chapter 8

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Eight: the French-Canadian connection

_Ba-bump… ba-bump…_

“Come here Eric!”

_Ba-bump_

“Hmph! I just don’t know… there’s so great a selection!”

Morathi and Eric shared a moment, as their eyes locked.

Turning to the assistant playfully the Druchii smirked before asking the sales associate her opinion on their latest change.

_Their_ change…

Eric didn’t know how… but as he sat down on the plush, faux velvet, couch just at the entrance of the change rooms Morathi and the sales associate Rebecca began modeling different sets of lingerie.

The poor otaku’s face felt like he was on fire as he listened to the giggling of the two women, and when they came out from the tiny change room he was _forced_ to watch them do a little walk and twirl, all the while giggling and acting strangely bubbly…

‘ _Like a goddamn yuri hentai or something!_ ’ he thought.

Now Morathi stood, waving Eric to stand from his seat on the couch and get closer…

Shaking his head from side to side and with his heart thundering in his chest he pursed his lips adamantly, grunting a muffled protest; “No… nope… Not moving…”

Ignoring this, the Druchii looked back to her female companion, smiling and lightly caressing her fingers down the straps of her newest ‘outfit’; a tightly fitting black and pink lace bra with matching thong underwear.

The assistant was currently modeling a red two piece lace ensemble, from the ‘strappy teddy’ line of Victoria’s Secret’s newest products…

It was see through… it was candy red… and it consisted mainly of thin straps of ultra-soft fabric which looked like it was taped to the girl’s skin… or painted…

“I like this one… especially on you! I mean…” the she-elf laughed, “Doesn’t it suit her shape and colour?” Looking the girl over, she smiled somewhat proudly at Morathi’s praise.

Eric knew Morathi was expecting his answer… he also knew that she was torturing him for whatever reason.

Perhaps it was her attempt to show him she wasn’t to be underestimated? Maybe she was showing off her the magical ability she still retained…

But whatever the case may be Eric knew that she was having far too much fun in watching him squirm.

These interactions with the sales associate also became more and more suspect!

‘I mean… There’s no way a regular person would be that susceptible to persuasion, c-could they?!’ Eric thought.

Morathi started it all off by asking Rebecca to help her, picking things out, giving input…

And then, like _real_ quickly Morathi and the girl disappeared into the room _together!_ When they reappeared it wasn’t just the Sorceress who’d stripped and was wearing new underwear!

“Oh and if you like the way that these straps look, here’s the last thing I pulled for you to try!” the bubbly assistant stepped to the side and bent over to reach onto the bench in the change room… coincidentally giving Eric a perfect view of her ass.

Letting out a noiseless sigh of disbelief he thought to himself, ‘Oh sweet Jesus…’ and his eyes widened until he thought the eyeballs were about to fall out.

By now the poor sod was so painfully erect in his pants he had to cross his legs and purposefully look away, focusing on breathing and not on the two very hot, scantily clad women in front of him.

Yet despite his best efforts, he could still hear them going at it… And it sounded _far_ too similar to the opening of a porno to him.

“So this is a floral pattern… it’s that _really_ breathable material you said you’ve liked so far, but it’s a one piece, other than that it’s the same as the others though!” Rebecca giggled as she held the undergarment up for the elf to consider, “It has the bands too, and it’s part of the new teddy line! Same as what I’ve got on.”

Morathi cooed and let out a moan of satisfaction before she cooed and responded, “I love it…”

The assistant smiled and laughed in agreement, “Awesome!” lowering her voice somewhat she added, “Plus it’s actually on a really great promotion right now, forty percent off!”

Morathi waved her hand playfully, “Oh that’s not an issue, mhmm, my companion is paying today.”

At this Eric snapped his attention over, the sober thought hitting home; ‘Oh shit… that’s right. I actually am paying!’

Turning to see the two women again the young man was on the receiving end of Rebecca’s incredulity.

Staring at him a little longer she comically changed her voice, teasing both him and, by extension, Morathi; “Well, well, well! What a _date!_ And…?” she looked back at the Druchii before smiling, attempting to engage in wordless ‘girl-talk’.

It was clear the age and height difference between the two, and Rebecca, though under the charms of Morathi’s simple and ambient magic presence, still saw what appeared to others as obvious: Either Morathi was Eric’s very young mom… _Or_ the two were in a perverse romantic relationship.

The truth of course far beyond what most people would be willing to entertain… A guy in his early twenties, and a woman (in what appeared to be) her mid-thirties as friends? No way…

It had to be that the odd pair was involved in a sexual manner.

After the thought of all this Morathi raised an eyebrow before looking over at Eric… At the moment he couldn’t have made himself smaller or less red in the face.

Smirking, and having has far too much fun already the Druchii decided to end her shopping experience on a playful note as she leaned in.

Giving Rebecca what she wanted: the Hag Sorceress ‘shared’, “ _And_ … I’ll be paying him back later.” drawing a breath in-between her teeth sensually she made her voice deeper and intensely suggestive, “Rebecca…”

The assistant’s eyes shot open and her face became expectant at the change in Morathi’s tone. “Y-yeah?” she asked meekly.

Tilting her head to the side as she looked at the young human, the Druchii continued, “He might not look like much _but_ …” looking back, human and elf locked eyes as Morathi nodded slowly and stated: “All night.”

Rebecca immediately looked over at Eric, who was cringing himself into a black hole.

But before the tanned girl could open her mouth Morathi let out a shudder as she made out like she was recollecting, then she repeated, “ _All night._ I mean…”

She shivered and brought a hand to her bra strap.

“I wasn’t even looking for a date until this little young buck came into my life…” she smirked, “Or rather _I_ came into his…”

Rebecca stepped backwards gulping, firmly entranced by Morathi’s words.

At the edge of the change rooms another one of the Victoria’s Secret employees had stopped to listen in, and was likewise ensnared.

Looking from Rebecca to the other assistant Morathi nodded, “I’ve been to some great parties before but,” she laughed and rubbed her thumb across her black lips, “there’ve been few times I’ve been that surprised _by a boy_.”

Closing her eyes and pursing her lips the Druchii let out a sigh and low moan.

The two human women shook at the witch’s words, their imaginations running wild as tendrils of perverse magic encouraged their sensual appetites along.

Letting out a shudder as she stepped backwards, Rebecca began leaning against the wall of the small change room, one hand pressed against her thigh and the other flat against her chest.

The other employee was gulping and breathing heavily, as she looked from the Druchii to the red faced and embarrassed Eric.

Several seconds passed of tense, sexual energy. Rebecca and her co-worker began looking at Morathi and Eric licentiously, an open plainness about what they were thinking about.

Enjoying every miniscule moment of it Morathi’s mouth widened in a sadistic grin.

Eric however gulped and looked from woman to woman to woman, as the tension of the moment built to such a point that it seemed as if they were about to pounce on him all at once.

Rebecca opened her mouth and was looking at Eric with total wanton lust but before anything _really_ happened Morathi spoke up, ruining the moment.

Loudly the witch changed her previously sensual voice back to a normal tone, completely dispelling the strange entrancement she’d so effortlessly weaved upon the two females.

“Well! I’ll take the lot! I’ll keep these ones on as I re-dress and he’ll be paying for the others.”

Rebecca snapped out of her trance and nodded before looking down at herself, furrowing her brow in confusion as to why she was wearing underwear in the open, “R-right… o-of course.”

The other employee blinked rapidly as she forgot what all just had happened and shook her head as she stepped forwards, “I-I can take those to the cash for you…”

Morathi smiled at both humans before looking at Eric.

“Oh, and you ladies didn’t hear anything odd did you?”

The two employees furrowed their brows groggily as they looked at one another. Speaking in unison they agreed, “N-no?”

Morathi chuckled and threw her head back as she pulled her graphic tee back on.

“Excellent!”

Shaking out her hair and running her fingers through the long tendril-like strands she pointed to her elven ears as she picked up her toque.

“Oh and neither of you saw anything peculiar about my appearance,” she sniggered, “like my ears?”

At this Eric’s eyes widened and he sat up straight in his seat.

Rebecca and the unnamed employee both looked squarely at the long, protruding, obviously in-human elf-ears, before pursing their lips and shaking their heads, genuinely oblivious, “No?”

Putting the hat back on her head and over the cartilage Morathi smiled, “Good girls.”

Pulling her jeans back on and slipping into her sandals the Hag Sorceress of Ghrond rubbed a finger against Rebecca’s bare arm before stepping past the two women.

“You’ve been excellent help ladies… And should you see either of us again you’ll forget this moment, but remember these feelings, _with fondness_.”

Eric stood hesitantly as Morathi approached, while Rebecca shook her head before closing the change room door to redress.

The other employee stepped ahead of the pair as she brought the underwear and lingerie to the cash, shaking her head all the while as she groggily tried to process things.

Gulping and whispering as he slowly walked towards the registers Eric looked at Morathi, “W-what the _fuck_ was that?”

The Druchii witch let slip a genuine sigh, “Pent up sexual energy gives off such a palpable scent of Slaanesh. I merely felt like having a little fun… Weakened minds are so easily susceptible to my magic thus.”

Sniggering to herself Morathi took another deep breath, Eric however was in strange awe and terror at his companion.

“Please promise me you aren’t going to get into people’s heads like that again! I mean… w-what limits do you have? T-that chick was practically naked!”

His voice hushed as the cashier rang through the items and bagged them.

“And that was all at your mere suggestions?!”

Morathi watched the transaction with a raised eyebrow of interest as she responded matter-of-factly, “Meh… I don’t quite know. The first one was rather distant minded, and quite pleasurable in all honesty. The second may have had a greater interest in you already.”

Paying with his debit card and taking the bag from the counter Eric handed it to Morathi before smiling awkwardly to the cashier. Turning and leading the way out of the store the witch continued explaining,

“In any case, they didn’t require any more than a base level of charm to make them follow along. Some are so willing and ready to play as supplicants…” She giggled evilly to herself.

Under his breath Eric yell-whispered, “So, you mean you don’t know how that worked?!”

Morathi shrugged her shoulders, “I know I felt like having a bit of fun…”

Furrowing her brow she regarded the human with irritation, “They won’t remember anything, its basic sorcery. Even initiates can do what I did. Why are you so aggrieved?”

Eric opened his mouth and shook his head in disbelief, “W-what?! I mean… oh dear! I… ugh…” he trailed off and shivered in confusion.

The Druchii laughed, “It cost me no mana, and in a way it was a necessary exercise.”

Eric bit his tongue before looking over at his companion.

Her face was reserved, but she eventually raised an eyebrow slightly.

Swallowing the human blinked and looked away.

“You still disapprove?”

Eric stood, avoiding Morathi’s gaze.

“It was… fucking weird Morathi. To say the least…”

Morathi smirked, and watched her human squirm in silence a while longer before responding. Her tone was somewhat conciliatory as she changed the subject, “Your friend then? Does he still await us?”

Looking up at the she-elf she coyly cocked her head to the side before smiling.

Shoving his hand into his pocket and fumbling for his phone he eventually brought the device out and checked the screen. Exhaling heavily and reading the screen Eric nodded, “Yeah… he’s on his way to the food court now.”

Adjusting her hold on her bag the Druchii turned, looking at either side, “Splendid… Now, where’s that?”

Letting out a huff Eric pointed “It’s just over there.”

Walking towards the lunch crowd Morathi looked over at her human, determined to get one more jab in.

“That Rebecca did have ample bosom though.”

Shaking his head embarrassed Eric stuttered in protest, “Gah! M-Morathi! Enough!”

Chuckling in satisfaction the she-elf relaxed as they continued.

…

“Okay take a seat there Morathi… And please, _please!_ Don’t do any mind games or magic bullshit with him.”

Taking her seat in the middle of the round booth, the she-elf nodded, “Yes, yes… Besides, if he’s magically attuned as you say I doubt something as lowly as what I performed earlier would affect him.”

Furrowing his brow Eric moved his lips before he heard a loud call.

“Eric!”

Looking up and searching among the bustling open area the young otaku looked for his former co-worker.

Waving and making his way rapidly towards him, Eric finally saw Frankie.

Widening his eyes in surprise, Eric couldn’t recognise his former colleague at first.

He always knew that the Canadien was prone to an _eclectic_ style… But he didn’t expect the bright hair or graphic tee, especially as his work uniform…

What immediately shocked Eric was that his memories of the thin, androgynous, ex-co-worker hadn’t kept up to what he now looked like.

Francois always had a unique flair and look to him. He was never, not wearing trendy clothes or sporting a ‘hot’ dyed hair style. The female co-workers fawned over him and he always earned attention, interest, or envy wherever he went.

Eric wasn’t, uh… _that way inclined,_ but even he admitted that Frankie was a very good looking guy. And though Frankie was perhaps a little too much of a peacock, and he certainly pushed the envelope of acceptability, Eric always thought he was a cool guy and they had gotten along well…

Even though the circumstances were _insane_ he was glad to have reconnected with Francois at the least.

But back to the surprise of not seeing someone for a really long time!

Since last Eric saw him Frankie had dyed his hair with three pastel colours, a faded mauve as the main body, blue roots, and spots of pink interspersed here and there wildly. It was also a lot longer than he remembered; his bangs were swept to the side and hung down so as to frame his face, while the back had been pulled up into a ponytail.

His shirt was white with a pattern of bitten ice cream popsicles across it and in his right hand he was carrying a black _Thrasher_ backpack. Looking down Eric saw that his former co-worker was wearing pink skinny jeans, tucked into black doc martins with white laces.

Eric smiled politely and waved while trying not to stare or act awkward as the ‘loud’ Frankie began walking towards him.

Morathi looked at Eric and furrowed her brow at his dumbstruck expression, before following his eyes until she saw Frankie.

She too widened her eyes at the pastel explosion of colour and bubbliness which was the ‘magically inclined’ sage she’d been told of. In surprise the Sorceress shook her head slowly whispering “What in Khaine’s bloody name…”

Getting closer and dropping his bag Frankie beamed a smile as he extended his arms, “Eric! Mon amis, it’s been too long!”

Morathi narrowed her mouth as she widened her eyes and watched.

“T-this? I… is… w-what the hell?!” she swore privately.

Wrapping his hands around Eric’s shoulders and giving him a hug the Anglo-otaku nodded and lightly returned the gesture.

Fumbling his words at first he politely admitted, “Y-yeah, ha, it has! Y-you’re a little different since last we saw each other…”

Stepping back Frankie laughed self-consciously as he nodded and looked down, “Yea… Ha, just a bit, no?”

Sharing nods Eric waved his friend to follow to their table.

Bending over Frankie picked his bag back up and slung it over his left shoulder while Eric raised a brow smirking, before asking “Is that real? The dye I mean.”

Shaking his head and laughing Frankie shied as he admitted, “No, no, it’s mostly just chalk. We got this whole line of colours at work and we’ve all been using them a little too much on our breaks.” He sniggered, “But I think it looks good, no?”

Eric swallowed and nervously shrugged, saying the only thing which came to mind, “Well yeah. I mean, it makes you look like an anime character or something…”

Frankie laughed and nodded, naturally that was his objective.

Before the two males got too carried away with their _human_ bullshit and small talk, Morathi scooted out of the booth and rose to her full height as quick as she could.

Clearing her throat she not so subtly reminded Eric of the purpose of their meeting.

Frankie looked away from his friend and regarded Morathi with reserved interest not having noticed her until now. Eric looked to the Druchii and immediately turned to make introductions,

“Oh, uh… F-Frankie, this is my friend M… M…Michelle?”

Morathi furrowed her brow at the pseudonym but quickly changed expression before Frankie saw, returning a muted smile and extending her hand to meet his.

“ _Michelle_ this is Frankie that I had told you about…”

Receiving the human’s soft fingers into her palm Morathi shook hands with the strange, scene, Quebecer as he announced, “Enchanté, Michelle!”

Looking the human up and down surreptitiously she quietly responded, her distrust and apprehension clearly audible. “Likewise, _Frankie…_ ”

Eric grit his teeth, silently hoping that it wasn’t about to get any more awkward as the black clad, tall, Goth chick, stared down the smaller, brightly pastel covered, and androgynous guy.

Frankie cocked an eyebrow as Morathi continued to stare, and Eric leapt in trying to defuse the growing strangeness in the air, “W-well! Why don’t you sit down and we can chat?”

Frankie raised his eyebrow before looking to Eric suspiciously.

The Anglo cringed before the Quebecer smiled and laughed, “You’re a man of such mystery Eric!”

Sitting into the booth on the side opposite Morathi, Frankie continued, his thick accent now drawing the Druchii’s interest as much as his alien appearance, “What a strange thing! Texting me out of the blue and neglecting to mention that you brought such a wonderful lady-friend?”

Sitting beside his elvish companion Eric smiled awkwardly as his mind raced and his heart beat nervously.

“So now I wonder… what on earth could I help you with?” He chuckled and shook his head, his demeanour changing somewhat. “I mean… I hope you realise just how weird this is, yes?”

Eric cringed and let out a heavy sigh, admittedly. “Look… I… I didn’t know who else to ask. I’m sorry.”

Frankie shrugged as he lent back and looked from Eric to Morathi.

Morathi raised an eyebrow and matched the human’s gaze while Eric attempted to speak.

“Y-you see there’s uh this uh-“

Interrupting the Druchii plainly spoke, “Eric spoke of your esoteric knowledge.”

Glowing red in his cheeks Eric shot towards his companion, “M-mo... what are you doing?!”

Frankie raised an eyebrow and looked from Eric to Morathi surprised as she continued, “I am in the strange position of requiring aid…”

Eric brought a hand to cover his mouth as he looked from Morathi to Frankie.

“This land isn’t my own… and I need help to return back to where I came.”

Frankie’s expression was now mute and he remained eerily still.

Morathi smirked, “I’m sure earning your help goes beyond the miniscule level of relationship, or dare I say _friendship_ that you and Eric possess.”

Chuckling once hollowly, she continued, “I suspect that we’ll become quite bonded by the end of our ordeal. That is of course… Should you so decide to help us.”

Frankie’s eyebrows rose as he continued to sit in silence, visually contemplating what she’d said.

Drawing a breath the Druchii looked to Eric, explaining herself, “It does not do to withhold knowledge from him Eric…”

Meekly Eric’s voice cracked as he asked sarcastically “It doesn’t?”

Shaking her head Morathi looked back at Frankie and reached a hand to her toque, lifting it just enough above her left ear for the tip to poke out.

“My name is Morathi. I am the Hag Sorceress of Ghrond, and mother of the Druchii.”

Drawing the toque back down the woman inhaled, “If you aid me I can promise you power, favour, and boons beyond imagining.”

Eric’s face was one of total horror as he leaned back and continued to cover his agape mouth as he cringed himself into oblivion.

“I do not know how much, or how involved the fates have deigned to enweave us, but I am sure that there is foulness at work beyond my ability to sense.”

After a quiet second Frankie finally grunted as he looked down at the table.

Opening his mouth he stopped himself before looking back up at Eric.

Pausing Morathi watched in anticipation for the ‘mystic’s’ answer.

Pursing his lips and exhaling Frankie finally responded, his voice “I have no idea what the fuck this is supposed to be Eric… But you and your girlfriend are too fucking weird.”

Shaking his head in utter disbelief he scoffed before finally announcing, “Eric… Michelle. Adieu.”

Standing up the Quebecer was about to walk away when Eric shot his hand out to grab at Frankie’s arm.

“W-wait! Frankie, I know it’s fucking crazy!”

Anxious and nervous Eric began stuttering and shivering as he tried to speak.

Frankie looked down at the fingers wrapped around his wrist, before looking back at the couple.

“I know it’s f-f-fucking absolutely _i-insane!_ But dude, you’ve got to believe me… She’s literally m-magic! This is not _normal!_ ”

Frankie furrowed his brow and opened his mouth as he prepared to bat Eric’s hand away when Morathi snapped her fingers and began speaking _inside Frankie’s mind._

“He speaks truth, now _sit_ and we shall tell you all else that needs telling.”

The young man’s eyes widened as he looked at Morathi in horrified disbelief. Raising an eyebrow and keeping her black lips pursed the Sorceress continued, “Yes, you can hear me… What else shall I conjure to prove my power to you?”

In total fear Frankie asked aloud, “W-what… h-how are you doing this?”

Eric let go of his friend’s arm and watched on.

Holding up her right hand Morathi made a fist. Then opening it she produced a single flame of black and purple light. It flickered and licked her palm, swirling around and dancing about an inch high before disappearing.

Frankie’s bottom jaw shook as he darted his eyes from the woman to Eric.

Swearing under his breath in French, he spoke up in a whisper, fearfully stating, “Th-that’s not possible…”

Eric let out a heavy breath while nodding, “S-sit down Frankie…”

Not blinking and keeping his eyes firmly locked on Morathi, the Canadien shook his head from side to side, repeating, “That’s not possible!”

Eric nodded before speaking quietly, “Frankie… What do you _really_ know about real-world magic?”

…


	9. Timmy's with tha bois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, happy Saturnalia, one and all!  
> New chapters to come!  
> Next year I'm going to be more active on twitter for updates, suggestions, polls, and other such stuff so check out my profile for details!

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Nine: Timmy’s with tha bois

Frankie was shivering and nearly catatonic by the end of Eric’s story, and with Morathi continuing to add details about herself, the poor boy had shrunk in his seat, his mouth pursed and eyes staring unblinkingly at the Druchii.

Eric was rather heightened too, the stress and disbelief of the situation returning two fold after introducing and including his friend into the ‘conspiracy’.

…

“So… with that kind of out of the way…” Eric huffed nervously before continuing.

“When you made those overtures to me, about… y-you know.” Eric lowered his voice, “the occult shit. I’ve got to know, was any of that true?”

Frankie snapped to, darting his eyes from the she-elf to his fellow human.

Gulping the young man brought his hand to his bangs and scratched his scalp nervously.

His teeth chattered before he found his tongue, “W-w-well… I-I… uh.”

Morathi watched him intently.

“L-look… I mean…”

Tapping her long black nails against the table the Druchii was burning holes into the human with her eyes and he cracked under the pressure.

“S-s-sort of!” he stuttered.

Frankie huffed and shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“Maybe… maybe we can uh get some food? And… uh g-go somewhere…” the French Canadian was rising from his seat and Morathi finally blinked, clearing her throat and making him stop mid-action.

“…else.”

Snapping her fingers and pointing down Frankie was forced to sit by his muscles… How much of it was her influence or his fear Eric was unsure.

Before he could interject on his friend’s behalf Morathi spoke, her voice as smooth as velvet, and as authoritative as only she could make it.

“That shan’t be happening young _Frankie_ … We shall remain here until I am satisfied with you.”

Eric furrowed his brow at her choice of words, and Frankie looked to his friend pleadingly.

In an attempt to dispel Morathi’s potential ire Eric spoke up, “Well Morathi, let’s just consider our options for a second here…”

Waving a black nailed hand she scoffed, “I think not, I have questions now for your comrade.”

Eric sighed and looked around uneasily; some people were looking at them as they ate, whispering and watching the threesome with interest.

Staring down Frankie Morathi sternly posed her first question,

“The winds of magic… the swirling poles of energy and power… Do you know of them?”

Gulping and looking at Eric and then back to the sorceress Frankie nodded slowly, “I… I suppose, err we, wouldn’t call them that, but there’s energy all around us… Certainly...”

His voice cracked as he felt embarrassed to say something so bizarre and out loud to a stranger with his friend also present.

Morathi nodded satisfactorily, “How might a simple conjurer, or amateur, like you intone and use these energies? To tap into these winds?”

Frankie scoffed nervously, “Well… I mean it’s not like it’s an exact science, but there’s like…” his voice quieted, “r-rituals… and incantations…”

Morathi smirked and moved in her seat, leaning forwards eagerly, “And you’ve had success with these?”

Sitting back in his chair, while also remaining rigidly upright, the young man bit his tongue.

“I… uh…”

Cocking an eyebrow Morathi waved her hand in the air impatiently, “Speak! Time is not a luxury I have to squander.”

“I mean… I c-c-cleared…” he stopped, his face becoming beet red, “I… cleared.”

He huffed before Morathi’s grim expression forced him to finish.

“Okay, okay!”

Shutting his eyes tightly and leaning forwards he painfully admitted; “I use a spell to clear my acne… a-and… s-some other charms for different things.”

His voice rose somewhat defensively, “I never believed that they worked! Until… th-they kinda did…”

He pursed his lips.

“I… joined an online group a-and… we… exchange ideas… and recipes.”

Looking at Eric he immediately averted his eyes when he saw his friend’s dumbstruck expression.

“And, sometimes even spells.”

Morathi’s eyes narrowed in satisfaction and she had a sly grin across her black lips. It seemed that everything she was hearing was exactly what she wanted to… Her voice rose in elation as she asked with reserved excitement, “This coven of yours? How often do you meet?”

Frankie’s eyes went wide and his cheeks were almost as pink as the graphics on his shirt.

“I! W-w-we, don’t!”

Morathi immediately furrowed her brow, and before she could speak Eric interjected, “He said ‘online’, remember? I told you about wireless communication? The internet?”

She nodded, hiding her embarrassment, “Yes, yes… Your Dawi-like technology, I recall...”

Looking to the side she let slip her irritation under her breath as she whispered “Damn!”

Frankie nodded, glad to have Eric support him from the intense gaze of the sorceress. With the brief break he was able to clear his throat, gaining a little confidence as he spoke,

“We generally just group chat though, which is okay with me, somehow it’s less weird. And since we’ve all got ‘like’ interests, and t-that sort of stuff.”

Morathi nodded.

She studied his face for a long time, quietly, until finally she spoke, making the poor Quebecer shudder nervously.

“Well Frankie. I see nothing malicious, or _hidden_ within you.” She smirked, “Nothing which would cause me a threat at least.”

The Sorceress chuckled, “So now that your knowledge has been proven true, what say you to my offer?”

Darting his eyes from Eric to Morathi, Frankie gulped, and smiled politely “W-which was, a-again?”

“I shall grant you innumerable boons, as well as _your life_ , should you aid me.” She looked down at her right hand, examining her fingernails, “It’s a rather simple arrangement.”

Eric swallowed tensely before adding on, doing his best to put on a mature and serious voice, “Frankie, I totally get that this is fucked, this is… just… totally crazy. But… You don’t have to do anything more than you’re willing to. Okay?”

Nodding the Anglo gathered his confidence before continuing, “I don’t know what kind of messed up shit might happen, and I really do regret roping you into this, but… I don’t really have a whole lot of friends, or anyone else who could help me.”

Frankie smiled appreciatively before drawing a quiet breath.

Carefully considering his words the French Canadian eventually nodded, a little bit more calm and settled than before.

“I know now that Morathi is… well… she’s who she is.” Eric chuckled, “And with all that entails, but Frankie, she and I have made an arrangement of our own.”

Looking away and staring sternly at the Druchii Eric straightened and puffed out in a subconscious show of presence.

Scrutinising Morathi’s face he raised a brow as he asked, “Right?”

Morathi looked out of the corner of her eyes at her human guide. Her face tightened and her expression hardened, but she eventually broke down and nodded slightly, speaking through her grit teeth,

“That is so…”

Frankie lightened up even more before letting out a sigh and leaning back into his seat.

“So, with that, and with all the other stuff at play here…” Eric laughed in disbelief. “What do you say Frankie?”

Looking at one another for a silent moment the Francophone finally laughed, his features rising in a blushed grin.

“Well… Eric. This _is_ insane but fuck it I guess… I’ll help you.”

Eric sighed in relief and let his head fall onto the table in front of him as he groaned aloud, “Thank god…”

…

The group chatted a little more, becoming more comfortable and more acquainted with the madness of the task before them when the issue of logistics came up and the three were forced to discuss it head on! Despite distractions…

“So what do we need to do, like… Collectively?” Eric eventually asked.

Morathi was thinking, rubbing her chin with her fingers for several seconds.

The moment of seriousness started to wane when Frankie furrowed his brow and commented, having made a strange realisation; “Wait, are those actually your natural nails?”

Rather than look to her side and answer Eric’s original question Morathi snapped out of her thoughts and immediately darted her eyes to Frankie before smirking and looking over her long lacquer covered talons.

With a smug raise of her brow she examined her right hand, flipping it over and extending her nails, “They are indeed. Why?”

Looking away from the intimidating fingernails to Frankie the Druchii sorceress bared a toothy grin, “Impressed?”

Frankie shook his head and laughed incredulously “I’m just in disbelief that those are real! I mean I wear fake ones for cosplay and-“

Eric shut his eyes and grunted in frustration. For whatever weird reason, the air between Morathi and his former colleague was one of a strange appreciation and interest in one another. And earlier he was hoping that these diversion discussions wouldn’t continue…

“Guys, come on! Focus!” he snapped in a hush.

Frankie stifled a nervous chuckle as he reluctantly agreed, “Right…”

While Morathi cooed sarcastically, “Oh put yourself at ease Eric… He’s merely a flatterer, like you.”

Frankie’s cheeks got a little red at the complement and he reddened further as the milf sorceress smirked and shot him a blink.

Eric furrowed his brow and immediately thought about the earlier incident at the Victoria’s Secret.

Shaking his head and whispering in a scolding tone he looked at his Druchii guest as sternly as he could muster, “Nope! Stop that, Morathi! No magic on him like you did earlier!”

Rolling her eyes and letting out a sigh the woman leant back and placed both her hands onto the table. “I’m not… don’t push your luck Eric.”

Swallowing and soberly stiffening from Morathi’s veiled threat Eric attempted to redirect the conversation, “Right, n-now, come on. What should our first priority be?”

Frankie cleared his throat and nodded, “Well…” he looked at the table as he thought.

“How much cash have you got on you?”

Eric tilted his head quizzically at the question and Frankie listed aloud his thoughts, “Supplies, herbs, ingredients; we’re going to need a lot of that stuff. Also probably a few books too, and print-outs of rituals. Chalk, candles.”

He scoffed in disbelief at his own words, “I mean… I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud but, we literally also need a grimoire!”

Morathi smiled, her eyes crinkling at their corners.

Eric looked from Frankie to the woman and his heart skipped a beat.

Her expression was true, unpolished, undressed, desire and excitement.

Frankie continued, not noticing the captive observer he now had in the Druchii. “There’s a place I go a few blocks from here, but it’s only cash… They sell all kinds of imported stuff from India, and the orient in general. It’s a real…” he giggled, “Granola, health and wellness, spiritual kinda shop.”

Eric cringed as Morathi continued to watch his friend eagerly, “Y-yeah?”

Frankie smirked, “Oh yeah. You name the odd thing, they’ve got it. Or they can help point you in the right direction. Depending on what you get, it’ll even come in these little handmade glass jars.”

He laughed nervously as he divulged this semi-personal knowledge.

“Seems like quite the market for mystics, nay?” Morathi asked with an earnest smile.

Feeling almost embarrassed the pale Decora-poster boy shook his head, “Yeah all that kind of stuff. Tokens, charms, even real parchment.”

“But of course it’s expensive so… we’re going to be able to only get a few things.”

“And test which ones work.” Morathi announced.

Frankie nodded.

Eric rubbed his eyes, ‘Well you know what… why the fuck did she decide to come out of my computer and not his! They’re practically friends at this rate!’

Irritated Eric spoke as he reached into his pocket, “Okay, well I’ve only got forty bucks or something on me.”

Pulling his wallet out of his jeans and opening the small black billfold he looked to see a twenty dollar bill, a five, and two tens. “I say we get going, hit up this place Frankie’s talking about, and… get started.”

Shaking his head Eric let out a breath in disbelief.

“This is ridiculous…”

Frankie perked up, “Okay, so… we can actually walk there and then grab the bus.”

“No, no. Frankie, I got my car.”

His eyes opened, “Oh yeah? Sick…” He smiled uneasily before asking, “So. Do you mind swinging by my place after?”

Eric furrowed his brow, “Oh shit, yeah! Morathi? Where are we going to be doing this shit?”

Frankie pursed his lips and let out a comical, higher pitched, “Oooooh” in agreement as the two young men looked to the mature sorceress.

Pursing her lips the elf began rubbing her chin again, but this time her thinking took less time and she nodded as she answered, “Right… We’ll need somewhere more secluded.”

Frankie cringed and immediately brought up his hands in defence as he spoke pre-emptively, “We uh can’t do it at my place! I… I’ve got roommates and there’s totally no private space.”

“My room’s barely big enough for me, my desk and bed, let alone three people to then be drawing symbols on the floor and making magic.” Frankie snorted and mumbled to himself in French at the absurdity of what he’d just said.

Eric nodded, and before he could talk Morathi chimed in, agreeing; “Eric’s tower too is far too risky… The guards will smell our burnings and hear our chanting.”

Furrowing his brow and laughing in disbelief, Eric agreed “Ha, yeah actually… those are good points.”

His voice lowered and trailed off as he made the disappointing realisation; “Fuck! Where can we do this shit?”

Morathi nodded before shaking her head and waving a hand frustrated, “Regardless! We can begin gathering our offerings, herbs, ingredients, and so on.”

Frankie pouted out his lips as he agreed, “Right.”

Eric nodded too, “We can also do online research and maybe see what Frankie’s group knows too about what works and doesn’t with power-gathering.”

Morathi ‘hmmed’ in agreement.

“It’ll save us time and money on troubleshooting.” Frankie offered.

The three nodded their heads and made grunts or noises of agreement comically.

A silence followed and each member of the triumvirate was in their own thoughts, plotting and forming different needs and aspects to what they needed to do next when a loud gurgling stomach groan sounded into the air.

Eric’s eyes widened and he let out a laugh, Morathi merely furrowed her brow in surprise, and Frankie brought a hand to his abdomen as he groaned in pain.

“Shiiiittt… that, actually hurt!” He admitted with a chuckle.

Shaking his head and expressing sympathy Eric’s voice rose in apology, “Damn Frankie, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise you were that hungry!”

Nodding and looking around the food court at his options the Quebecer chuckled, “Yeah… well there was a reason I said we could meet in the food court.”

Feeling his own stomach ache with a little hunger Eric nodded, “I think I might get something too…”

Following Frankie’s eyes to the right side of the circular food court Eric took stock of the places available, and that wouldn’t kill his budget…

‘Cash for the magic store, debit for the food’ he thought with a nod.

There was a Chinese food place; and as Eric looked over the counter he could see the fry cooks working away, their brows furrowed and eyes focused on their craft. From where he sat he could hear the sizzling woks and smell the aromatic dishes.

Next was a Greek food place, its’ great turning meat-cicle was being cut at by one of the three employees out in front and Eric tilted his head, ‘hmmm’.

There was a Crepe place, and of course the greatest weeb magnate of all; a Sushi bar…

“Okay Morathi, do you want anything?”

Frankie looked at Eric and stood up from his seat. The sorceress raised an eye brow as Eric stood too.

“Well I…” she pursed her lips and looked at each of the quaint options with confusion.

Frankie smiled as he leant for his bag, slinging it back over his shoulder he waved the two before began walking, “Come on! If she’s not had food here yet then there’s two things we’ve got to do!”

Eric smiled as he encouraged Morathi to stand. Chuckling he asked, “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

Frankie pointed to the bright red sign above one of the busier locations in the court, “I mean it’s only right that we bring her there for a coffee and some ‘bits, eh?”

The Quebecer laughed and Eric shook his head, “Ha! Ugh… that’s so stupid, and stereotypical, but sure. Drinks and some Timbits from Tim Hortons, and then… what for actual lunch-lunch?”

Before Eric answered Frankie shrugged and continued, “Cause I dunno about you but I am dying for an A and W burger, I have no idea why.”

Eric laughed, “Not going for the sushi?”

The three of them were now walking towards the Tim’s line up and Frankie looked over his shoulder with a smirk, “Ha-ha-ha. Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I ought to go over there and weeb it up further.”

Cringing Eric let out a defeated sigh, “Aghh, I kinda was thinking about it actually, but now that you say that, I think a bacon burger would be just fine.”

Frankie laughed as they stood at the end of the line.

All the while Morathi merely followed and listened along, occasionally shooting someone a look for staring at the three of them for too long or in a way she disliked.

Shaking her head and watching the Tim’s employees scurry about behind the counter the Druchii folded her arms and sighed, “I have no idea what in the hells you two are saying…”

Frankie and Eric looked at the sorceress for a moment before bursting out in semi-nervous laughter.

Immediately Morathi furrowed her brow and looked at the two young males, “W-what? I fail to see the humour in my words!”

Frankie sighed and groaned, clutching his abdomen again before speaking, “Oh man, Morathi? This is going to be one memorable adventure…”

Eric shook his head and sighed, “Frankie, you have no idea…”

Morathi pursed her lips in disapproval, whispering to herself, “You humans are strange.”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this chapter (episode) or have any observations or suggestions, let me know by writing a comment or a review!


	10. Send me on my way

Is it wrong to live with a Sorceress? Or: How Morathi Moved-In and Ruined My Life!

Chapter Ten: Send me on my way

‘These humans…’ Morathi repeated, while shaking her head. ‘Look at all of them, scurrying about. Forking over their measly coin for their, pitiful meals!’

Her inner monologue grew in intensity and in venomous commentary the longer she waited.

‘Fools… all of them.’ She mused, a small self-satisfied smile across her lips.

‘I knew of other worlds before, but… if I am able to return promptly, then perhaps?’

Bringing a talon to her chin she scratched the underside of her smooth jaw and slowly plotted.

‘Yes… yes. I could charge the most senior of my witches and sorceresses towards building such a…’ she chuckled perversely, ‘Oh yes, a web-way between worlds!’

Smirking and letting out a low, quiet, cackle her imagination continued to race and build.

‘These people seem easy enough to fool and walk among. A few of my most loyal daughters in darkness could slip amongst them, and study what we might plunder for our own designs!’

Snapping out of her daydreaming she looked to her side at her two human companions. ‘But first…’ she suppressed and impatient growl, ‘no, no. It’s fine. We can wait… We are most familiar with waiting.’

Hiding her lips behind her right hand she smirked again, ‘Oh yes. Let Eric, and his colourful _fool!_ Buy their… burgers? Yes their burgers! And their… _Timbits!_ ’ Scoffing silently, she rolled her eyes, ‘Whatever the hell either of those are.’

Folding her arms and returning to her daydreams about things to come and plots to enact Morathi narrowed her eyes, agreeing with herself as a low chuckle began to build in her chest.

Furrowing his brow and stepping away from the restaurant’s counter Eric nudged her elbow and tilted his head, “Come on Morathi let’s get back and snag our table before any truants do!”

Shaking her head and snapping out of her thoughts Eric had already darted past the Druchii before she got her tongue moving to speak, asking “Wait? What?”

‘What does that even mean? Gah! These incessant and incomprehensible words irk me so!’

Behind her a few impatient people were beginning to crowd towards the cash and looked at the goth milf with raised eyebrows, one was even bold enough to clear her throat, passive-aggressively commenting; “Excuse me?”

Looking past the humans Morathi saw Eric nod to her and chuckle before he walked alongside Frankie.

The impatient woman looked the Druchii over again before clearing her throat, “Excuse me lady? I’m sure you’re late for a concert or a séance somewhere so, why don’t you move and let me get my coffee? ‘Kay?”

Furrowing her brow and looking down Morathi narrowed her shadowed eyes and her pupils dilated. Her irises flared and glowed with a tint of lilac before she let out a low snarl, “Be still your minor inconvenience, peasant. Were you wiser you’d be thanking your gods I don’t flay you now.”

The woman, dressed in a business suit stepped back, her heels clicking dully against the tile floor as her mouth opened and her eyes widened. Now Morathi looked _her_ over.

The woman’s face was cute, only the smallest combination of frown and smile lines betrayed her age. Her hair was dark blonde, brought back into a bun. Her ears had plain silver studs, and around her neck was a thin silver chain with a small cross. Her blouse was the whitest garment Morathi had ever seen, and the suit the woman wore was a light grey, the weave made more brilliant by what appeared to be silver thread.

‘Such a rich human?’ she remarked, ‘Why I’d love to hear your wailing cries of anguish! To hear you broken for your grave insult to even _dare_ appear in such raiment before me, whereas I am so accosted by these rags!’

Imagining all the things she could do to the human, not for her impatient passive aggressiveness; no, no… Merely the perception which Morathi thought the human to be _nicely dressed_ was enough for her to fantasise about wearing her skin…

Feeling the tingling, miniscule bursts of energy dance around her fingers and along her arms Morathi knew she could easily rend the mortal in front of her.

‘Something as miniscule as this? Ha, well. I’m sure I could make short work of this puny woman with what mana I have right now…’

Then she heard two boyish laughs.

Looking past the small line of humans and back towards Eric and Frankie the Druchii matriarch reluctantly calmed, the sobering memory of her oath to the young male sapped her ire. Instead the thought of the human’s spirited insistence distracted her.

Her eyes returned to normalcy and she sighed reluctantly, ‘This may be a harder bargain to uphold than I thought…’

Stepping past the terrified woman Morathi’s voice lowered as she caustically remarked, “Enjoy your _black-bean juice_.” Chuckling hollowly, she flicked her wrist while adding, “Hopefully you don’t end up wearing it.”

Waving her over Frankie offered a slight smile, he was doing his best not to look at her fearfully. The two young men were carrying black cafeteria trays topped with steaming drinks, small paper boxes, and strangely aromatic bags.

The she-elf could only cock her head as she walked towards them.

On the way back to the table the two males were chattering away, joking, and otherwise ‘getting on’. Despite their situation, and what they had to do, or the interdimensional witch accompanying them, Eric and Frankie rekindled their friendship rather well.

Innocently the two talked, sharing things and doing their best to acclimatise to what was to come while slowly Morathi sat down beside Eric.

Eventually she let out a sigh before raising her voice and interrupting their childish revelry, “Alright, enough, enough! I’ve stomached almost as much of this place as I can, so fill yourselves and let us depart with speed!”

Eric and Frankie looked at her with raised brows.

“But Morathi, you’ve not eaten anything since this morning either. And besides, Frankie bought you a burger.”

Eric laughed, and so did Frankie before the Quebecer added, “I got you a…” he giggled, and Eric sniggered, nearly choking on his coffee.

“I got you a ‘mama burger’.”

At this the two young men let out loud laughter and Morathi furrowed her brow in confusion.

“What on earth is so funny?!”

Eric shook his head, “G-get it? A-a _mama burger!_ ”

Bringing her hand to slap the back of her companion’s head Eric let out a low, “Ow…”

Rubbing his now ruffled hair they quieted down.

“I also got a twenty pack of Timbits for us all, and I got you a double-double.”

Frankie hesitantly offered the wrapped burger towards Morathi from his brown A&W bag as Eric took her coffee from the paper four-holder and put it in front of her.

Crinkling her nose and raising an eyebrow the Druchii looked at the paper covered burger apprehensively.

Frankie’s voice came out uncertain at first but he grew with confidence as he explained, “I know that they sometimes look questionable but, this spot always makes them fresh and they actually manage to aim the pieces onto the buns.”

Eric nodded in agreement.

“It’s not lopsided or malformed looking, or anything.”

Morathi scoffed as she finally took the bag. Looking in front of either male she saw their ripped open papers and the food which was held inside.

‘It looks like a peasant dish… With… is that a water covered leaf?’

Furrowing her brow, she placed the bag down in front of her before easily tearing the paper up and open to reveal the top of a sesame-seed covered bun.

“So… W-what exactly is it?”

Eric swallowed a mouthful of coffee and leaned closer.

“It’s called a hamburger; and essentially it’s two bread buns with a piece of beef in the middle and a variety of toppings; like onions, pickles, cheese, mayo…”

Nodding Morathi began looking at the warm construction from different angles.

“You pick it up and just, bite into it.” Punctuating his words Eric took up his burger and munched into the side.

Leaning back Morathi looked across to Frankie and saw that he too was holding his ‘burger’, yet unlike Eric the pastel-boy had a stringy piece of onion hanging from his lips while his cheek was bulging out.

Looking away from her table-companions Morathi saw scores of people holding their food as they ate.

Quietly she let out a noise of embarrassment and discomfort as she tentatively picked up her meal.

Ketchup, mustard, and pickle juice began leaking from the sides and onto her fingers and she hid her sudden squeamishness and revulsion.

Swallowing and bringing the burger to her black lips the witch hesitated before looking to her side at Eric.

The young guide offered nod of encouragement as he suppressed a smile and laugh.

Opening her lips and bringing the food towards her teeth the witch shut her eyes and mentally groaned, ‘Ugh… somehow I know this is humiliating…’

At the same time as she touched the bun to her mouth a woman in the food court let out a scream as she fell, the sound of coffee splashing accompanied the commotion.

Looking over the edge of the booth and towards the Tim Hortons Eric and Frankie let out ‘woahs’ as the tried to see what had happened.

Morathi let out a muffled, knowing, cackle, as she began biting into her meal.

…

The trio was walking towards the parking garage while Morathi continued to complain and groan.

Adjusting his grip on his backpack’s strap Frankie leaned towards Eric and whispered, “Maybe we made a mistake with the Timmy’s?”

Eric, somewhat embarrassed to be carrying Morathi’s bag from Victoria’s Secret raised his voice as he responded incredulously, “The only mistake was in her eating fifteen out of the twenty Timbits!”

Morathi, her arms across her abdomen let out a grumble, “I curse both of you! The food was too indulgent not to relish! Yet you warned me not! Especially of their seductive power…”

“They’re a treat! You have a couple now, a couple later. Not wolf them all down as soon as you finish your burger!” Quietly Eric whispered to himself, “Which was kinda disgusting by the way, not going to lie… I’ve never seen a person eat that fast…”

“I hungered! I merely, forgot the sensation for a moment…”

Sighing he nodded, his voice calming, “Now look you’re probably also sick from so much sugar and… like… I dunno grains and processed food or something.”

Frankie nodded, “The caffeine in the coffee too was probably-“

Hissing Morathi interrupted, “Silence! Neither of you is an apothecary! Nor are you learn’d doctors!”

Frankie stifled a laugh, as he mumbled “Okay Shakespeare.”

Chuckling and shaking his head Eric nodded sarcastically, “Right! And besides… she’s a big girl, she’s… uh…”

Furrowing his brow Eric looked behind at the hobbled and slow moving she-elf, “How old are you again?”

Snarling and feeling her stomach gurgle Morathi grumbled, “Insolence! I… ugh. Oh…”

The she-elf’s voice quieted and she stopped to lean against the wall, “S-slow down…”

Eric and Frankie looked at the Druchii with concerned expressions. Then without warning Morathi burped.

Frankie let out a loud shriek and laugh in surprise as he jumped backwards. Eric merely shook his head and his face washed over with relief.

The witch let out a sigh and moved her arms from her abdomen, “I… feel better…”

Ignoring her belch Eric nodded, “Good. Now, for Frankie’s sake how old are you again?”

Narrowing her eyes and standing back up straight the Druchii woman pursed her lips.

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that’s an impolite question?”

Shrugging and pointing ahead the group started walking again.

Reluctantly she broke down. Eric was quickly discovering that if a question involved her, she would eventually answer it; her ego being far larger than the human considered possible.

“Fine…”

Frankie looked over his shoulder with interest as the Druchii sighed and looked at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“Six… maybe… seven thousand years? I don’t know anymore… I… l-lost track.”

The Quebecer’s face paled and he looked ahead as they exited the mall and began towards Eric’s car. Even Eric was surprised.

Frankie asked hesitantly, “R-really?”

And shrugging the Druchii let out a breath before responding, “After the first four millennia some years just blend into a haze, and honestly I don’t remember several centuries altogether.”

She chuckled and leant her head back, “Once…” she suppressed her laughter, “Oh gods. It’s funny now, not so much then, but once, I was experimenting, weaving new spells. There was a bright flash, I destroyed my sanctum in a flash of light and I was found comatose. So, I had to be attended to by my handmaids for some two hundred years!”

Waving her hand as they approached the car her chuckling dissipated, “I woke up eventually… But, by the gods it took decades to relieve the soreness in my joints afterwards. Oh, and the hair! If I were to say it was longer than I am tall, it was longer still!”

Smiling and letting out a contented breath at her recollection her voice changed, dropping through the floor as she snarled; “Yet I also recall… Malekith never visited me.”

Frankie nervously looked over at Eric and the anglophone kept his eyes glued to the ground.

“Not once…”

“My trusted handmaidens tell me he was informed of my condition, but he felt compelled to make another attempt upon Ulthuan. Ignoring me, and the pleas of my maidens to at least _visit!_ ”

Grumbling and her ire rising Eric cleared his throat and interrupted her before she became too agitated, pointing towards his Honda, “W-we’re here Frankie! You ride shotgun and give me the directions, okay?”

Nodding quietly Frankie responded, “Oui, y-yea, no problem…”

Morathi raised a brow, now reminded of their quest, “Oh yes. Of course!” letting out a chuckle, her whole demeanour changed, “here I am reminiscing!” quietly she sighed as they each opened a door and entered the car.

As she sat in the backseat, she had a pleasant expression as she wistfully mumbled, “Ahh, my Mally…”

Frankie put his bag at his feet and clipped his seatbelt before asking, “Who’s Mally?”

Eric, turning the key in the ignition, opened his lips, his eyes widening as he shook his head. Mouthing the words ‘Don’t ask!’.

Morathi ‘Hmmed?’ and Frankie immediately shook his head, “Ha, n-nothing!”

Nodding the witch let out a mumble before sitting back in her seat.

Clearing his throat and glad to avoid the subject of Morathi’s son, and their _relationship_ , Eric confidently asked, “So where to this shop?”

Pulling out his phone Frankie nodded, responding matter-of-factly as he looked at his map, “Take the Rideau street exit, then a right on King Edward. It’s down this little side street, so drive slowly. I’ll point it out when we’re a little closer.”

Nodding Eric reversed from the parking spot, “Got it.”

With the radio lowly buzzing and the car’s engine humming they travelled a few feet inside the parking garage in quiet before Morathi’s voice came out cooly.

“Mally is what I call my son.”

Frankie furrowed his brow, “W-wait what? You have a kid? Right! Right, ha… sorry… It’s just you look… you know…”

Laughing Morathi brought a hand to her mouth while Eric groaned, ‘oh god here we go…’

“Did you think I was a five-thousand-year-old virgin?”

Frankie shrugged, his cheeks reddening, “No! I mean… ha! N-no. But, I’ve seen a couple anime which imply-“

Eric interjected, “Ah no no! No, don’t talk to her about anime! That’s the last thing I need, I already made the mistake of showing her Lord of the Rings, she doesn’t need any more meta info!”

Smirking and raising a brow perversely the Druchii’s voice came out lyrically, “Eric, I don’t know how long I might _want_ to stay here. Perhaps I’d _like_ Frankie to tell me of this ‘anime’?”

Eric, defeated and appalled, pursed his lips and focused on driving.

“You forget, I’m far more astute than your race.”

Frankie laughed, “This is too much!”

Turning in his seat to look behind at the she-elf the pastel-boy let out a snigger of childish glee, “Before I tell you about anime, you’ve got to tell me more about you, and your son! I know we talked a bit in the food court but, I’m dying to know more!”

Letting out a mature, motherly laugh of pride the witch nodded, “With pleasure!”

Taking a hand off the wheel and pressing it to his temple Eric groaned, “Oh god…”

“My son’s name is Malekith and he’s the rightful heir to the throne of…”

…

By the time they had finally pulled in front of the small, hippy-ish, alternative, occult-ish shop Eric’s mind had glazed over.

In the course of their short drive he had to listen to a North Korean style propagandic retelling of a huge chunk of Warhammer lore… Only able to stay silent by biting his tongue the whole time.

Everything was pro-Druchii, pro-Malekith, and, without context, bat-shit crazy to hear.

Morathi though, couldn’t see just how evil and twisted a lot of the things she was saying were to the average person, and by the end of it, Frankie didn’t know whether to laugh, keep quiet, or feel bad for her.

At one-point Eric had merely shared a look and Frankie pieced it together; his lifetime of reading and consuming manga, anime, videogames and such also helped to bridge the gaps and finally the Quebecer had understood.

She wasn’t aware that she was a fictional character or that she was obviously a villainous one…

“And Sulaphet!” she cackled, “As soon as I can I must summon her forwards into this world, same with Heartrender! You two will bow at the dark majesty of my mount.”

Furrowing his brow as he turned off the engine Eric looked back, his voice rising to counter, “You did spawn Heartrender!”

Morathi looked away, her voice lowering almost childishly, “No I didn’t.”

“Yeah you did, you destroyed my bathroom and left it stuck in my floor and ceiling!”

Frankie sniggered in disbelief as they exited the car.

“What, did you forget the length of your own weapon?”

Averting her eyes embarrassed Morathi waved her hand, “R-regardless!”

“And where are we gonna be able to fit your horse?! If the in-game model is anything to go off of it’s huge!”

Opening her mouth to retort Morathi stopped, her face confused as she furrowed her brow, “What?”

Frankie shook his head from side to side, his face growing redder as he interjected, “Okay! Okay, come on, we’re here now, let’s get serious…”

…

“So, like will this help to rebalance my like… Chakras?”

Holding a book and leaning against the shop’s hand carved cash desk a long-haired guy with a long skateboard on his back was quizzing the bearded, bespectacled, mystic running the store.

After a short pause the owner finally let out a huff. “It’s a book about them yes, but like with many things it won’t just happen. You’ve got to read it, and put the work in yourself.”

The guy leant away from the counter, chuckling and nodding, “Heh, yeah man. Right, right…”

At the entrance the door opened and a bell chimed loudly.

“Now c’mon Dave, either get the book or get out, you’re killing me here.”

The ‘dude-bro’ put down the book and put his hands up, “Nah man, I ain’t killin’ no one man…”

Rolling his eyes and taking a breath the owner put on a happy face as he ignored his pot-smoking browse-only regular Dave and looked at the three people who had just walked in.

Frankie waved to the owner, a small embarrassed smile across his features.

Recognising the small colourful Quebecer, the owner brandished a warm grin of recognition, “Oh! Mon amis! comment ca vas?”

Frankie nodded, “Bien! Bien… I brought some friends with me today, and we… we need your help getting a few things.”

Leading the way Frankie stepped towards the counter.

Dave the pot-head took the owners lack of patience with him and the appearance of new people as a time to become insulted.

Furrowing his brow and puffing aggressively he looked down the decora-boy and grunted, “W-woah? I was here first buddy!”

The owner of the shop shook his head in confusion and Frankie’s eyes widened as the aromatic dude-bro directed his ire towards him.

Stepping ahead of Eric, and pushing Frankie out of the way Morathi placed herself between the humans.

Straightening her back and looking down her nose with a sneer the Druchii cleared her throat as Dave looked up and furrowed his brow at the Gothic woman.

“We require the proprietor of this establishment, and _you_ shall not interfere. I’ll say this once; _begone._ ”

Her order oozed with venom and Eric gulped nervously. So far he’d never heard her use that kind of voice before. But maybe she’d reached the end of her patience for the day?

Confused and trying to process what was happening the guy stuttered before raising his right hand and poking Morathi’s shoulder. Eric cringed and took a sharp breath.

“A-a-and who are you? Some kinda Siouxsie Sioux wannabe?”

Eric, hoping to butt in before things got ugly stopped, his mouth agape in horror. ‘H-h-he touched her?!’

Even Frankie’s eyes widened at the contact.

Dave however continued, “Yeah the nineties called, they want their Goths back!” giggling at his own stupid joke the owner of the shop interjected while shaking his head, “What the hell are you doing Dave? Stop bothering customers and get outtah here!”

Coolly Morathi ignored the man and darted her right hand upwards.

Taking the man’s finger, she snapped it backwards without the slightest hesitation or effort. Then, letting go, she looked towards the owner with a smile.

Dave, as well as the other males present took a moment to realise what had just happened.

Despite the wet sounding ‘crack’ her action wasn’t immediately obvious. Then the pot smoker let out a scream of pain before jumping and darting past Eric towards the door.

“She just b-b-broke my finger man?!”

After declaring this he began yelling and clutching his hand towards his chest, but not before Eric got a look at the digit hanging loosely from it’s joint. Shivering in disgust Eric could only think, ‘Oh dude… if only you knew how lucky you are…’

“Y-you’re mental lady! F-fuckin! Crazy!? She didn’t even blink man! Ahhhgaghhh! Oh my god!”

Nearly tripping over himself pot-head Dave ran out of the shop as fast as he could while the owner, Frankie, and Eric looked at the Druchii in complete shock.

Letting out a perverse sigh of satisfaction Morathi punctuated it by letting out a little giggle.

Indicating Frankie, she spoke as if nothing had just happened, “As my companion said, we require you aid in the procurement of certain… Ingredients.”

Indicating Eric she tilted her head with a coy grin, “And we are willing to pay amply in coin.”

The owner balked and took a half step back.

“W-what do you need?”

Smiling and her eyes crinkling at the corners Morathi let out a ‘hmph’ before responding, “First of all we require discretion.”

The man looked at Frankie, but immediately darted his eyes back to the sorceress. Her words were eerily compelling, the vowels and inflections sounding like pure sex as she continued, placing both hands on the counter and slowly leaning forwards.

“I have suffered too many fools today, and I have restrained myself far more than I ought to have… So, secondly to your discretion I expect your upmost dedication and decorum. And finally, I shall require the freshest and most exotic of your stock.”

The man stared into Morathi’s eyes and remained motionless.

“Frankie here says that you are mystic, perhaps even an aspiring hierophant? You shan’t leave any secrets to me, understood?”

Mutely the man nodded as Frankie and Eric looked at their magical companion.

“Whatever plants, spices, ingredients, rituals you deem as magic here, I need to know of.”

The man nodded again.

“Frankie? What resources do we need as basics?”

Clearing his throat and stepping forwards the Quebecer raised his finger, “Right… but… i-is he okay?”

Looking back to the owner Morathi furrowed her brow, “Oh… yes? I think…”

Eric bringing his hands to his temples shook his head, “Morathi! You’re doing exactly what you did at the mall! Only… f-fucking worse! Do you even notice?!”

Looking to her other side she huffed impatiently, “No! Eric, I don’t! You try living normally and then being thrown into a place utterly alien to _you!_ Huh? See how well you adjust!”

Frankie grunted and cleared his throat again as he interjected, “Hey! Hey, it’s okay! You two stop! Morathi… maybe you could, not mind-control slash possess people?”

Shutting her eyes and stepping back she huffed reluctantly.

Then she looked back at the still mute, motionless store owner.

Eric looked back and forth from the man to her as she put her hands on her hips.

“He’s already enthralled…”

“Oh come on!”

“Well! We may as well use him while he’s like this!”

Eric looked at Frankie and the francophone shrugged his shoulders, his face cringing as he eventually croaked out comically, “Sssshe’s got a point?”

Furrowing his brow and pointing to the stupefied and magically enthralled shop-keeper his voice cracked, “You’re okay with this?!”

Frankie looked at Morathi and pursed his lips, “I mean if he’s not harmed by it-“

“Oh my god!” Eric turned around and scanned the shelves of the strange store before reluctantly giving in, “Fine… fine! God this is fucked up, but fine! Whatever…”

“I’ll carry shit to the car and we can load up the trunk…”

Frankie and Morathi shared a look before the smaller male let out a giggle.

Eric looked at his friend with an angry expression and the Quebecer huffed, “Oh come on! It’s funny!”

Shaking his head Eric mumbled, “It’s fucked up is what it is…”

…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note:
> 
> Good evening Boils and Ghouls, sorry for the lateness of this chapter. I hope it’s okay for you all. I’m also sorry for my intermittent writing schedule as of late.
> 
> I’ll plug my twitter here because it’s far more convenient + current than these authors notes.
> 
> If you’d like you can follow me at ‘The Viscount Vampyre @ViscountsCourt’ for updates and news. I’m trying to post more there, but it’s difficult to keep on top of things.
> 
> I hope you have enjoyed my story so far, more to come soon. Thank you so much for continuing to read, it means a lot to me.
> 
> Lots of love.
> 
> VV


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